The Problem with having a Seadweller Girlfriend
by KrisMaria97
Summary: Sollux and Feferi share their first kiss! However, a problem for Sollox presents itself when he wipes his face with a wet towel. What happens? Who will help? Will they be willing? How will Feferi react when she finds out? Will she? OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS! Yaoi in later chapters. FLUFFINESS! c: COMPLETE! check last chap. for update!
1. Sollox's new look

_Hey, my name's Kris. I write bullshit fanfictions, as this is. I've actually had the idea for this as a comic, but I can't draw on the computer for my life and I don't have a Tumblr. So a story it is! This is really my third Homestuck FF, but my other two are obviously stupid because I don't get any sort of feedback from them EVER. Check those out all you want, I don't care, and I hardly update them. Anyways, this is a strict fan FICTION; there will pairings (mostly including boy/boy. Yes I like yaoi), I most likely will be out of character, so you can yell at me about that all you please. The humans aren't here neither will they ever be, Sburb WILL NOT be mentioned AT ALL, the trolls will stay trolls (sort of), and the seadwellers will stay seadwellers. I don't own Homestuck, Andrew Hussie does. Enjoy :)_

~oxoXoxo~

_**Sollox's POV: Three hours in the past…**_

"I didn't know you liked those kinds of movies, Sollox," Feferi said. I was walking her to the shoreline after I took her to see a dumb romance movie.

"KK thuggested I thee it, but I thought it'd be better if I took thomeone to thee it with me." (A.N: lol, lisp) She laughed. Why was I so nervous? Maybe it just the dumb movie that was getting to me. FF and I were holding hands and walking along the beach until she finally stopped at a small ledge. She turned to face me, but wouldn't look at me.

"Thoming wrong?" I asked her.

"I've wanted to ask you something…"

"What'th that?" She leaned in close, our noses touching. My cheeks felt hot; I gazed into her near pink eyes as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Will you…be my matesprit?" she whispered to me. Did she really just ask me that, I thought. I didn't know what to say, no words would come. I leaned in closer, she did the same, and our lips touched. I don't know how long we stayed like that, a few seconds? Minutes? It all felt so perfect; the sky a deep orange color, the sea breeze gently hitting our faces, it was just perfect—all of it. I can't even explain it. Once we pulled away, FF smiled again. It wasn't one of her normal smiles, this one looked warmer, a more-than-moirails kind of smile. I liked it.

"I'll take that as a 'yes.'" And with that, she dove in the waves, thus marking the end of our outing. I don't think I was ever as happy as I was then and there.

_**Present…**_

"So you finally decided to open the fucking door? Or are you just tired of hearing me scream at you?" KK walks in. I don't have anything to do, so I figured it would be okay for KK to come and play video games with me, of course I'd have to put up with his yelling, but that's easy.

"I'll thend you back to your hive." I tell him.

"Whatever. Mind telling why your face has some of your weird honey shit on it?" he pulls up the extra chair in front of my desk.

"What?"

"Check the area under your eyes, it's the color of mustard, you dumb shit."

"Aw, what?" I go to get a damp towel. Why am I still blushing?

"Hey, did you see that movie I was telling you about?" KK must be starting the game. I knew I should've put a code on it; he doesn't have a single ounce of patience in his being.

"Yeah, I took FF to thee it." I smile at the events as of earlier.

"Why would you take your girlfriend to see it?"

"Becauthe unlike you, I actually have a girlfriend to thee thappy romance flickth with."

"Oh ha-ha, look at that—the lonely hack motherfucker made a shitty joke. Now will you hurry up? This game is stupid without another player."

"Will you wait?" I wipe my face with the wet towel. Was it clean? As soon as the thing hit my face it felt like an electrical current shot through me. That was weird. I figure I'm still in a daze from earlier; I must be since I was still blushing. I return to the other room and take the other seat be KK, who won't stop giving me this weirded-out look.

"What?" I ask.

"Umm…" Holy shit there must be something _seriously_ wrong. KK has _never_ been speechless before.

"What happened?" Now I'm worried.

"Your uh…you have these…things," he stammers.

"Will you talk? What happened?" he's quiet for a while.

"You have a mirror, right?" I nod. He brings be to the mirror in my bathroom (A.N: I'm using 'blueblood' terms because I'm at a loss for what a troll on the lower part of the scale would call it) and I see why he's freaked out.

"W-WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?" there are bullshit fucking _fins_ actual _fins_ on my face. I try pulling them off hoping they're fake, but I just barely touch them and they twitch away. I grab hold of them and quickly yank my hands away, grabbing them hurt.

"Dude, what in the name of fuck happened to you?" KK is more nervous than he was earlier.

"How thould I know? Latht time I checked, thpontaneouthly thprouting bullthit finth ithn't normal!" I have every possible right to be freaking the fuck out right now, trolls don't randomly sprout fins. KK takes a step back when I yell at him, I try to calm down.

"Look, thorry for yelling, but—what the fuck?"

"Did anything happen?" he still seems scared, but he's willing to help at least.

"Well, no. I barely did anything today. I took FF to the movie, walked her to the beach, came home, took a nap, invited you over, and then, thith!"

"That doesn't make sense, something must've happened." He gets an idea. "I'm gonna get Kanaya on Trollian's TrollChat, she might be more helpful." He leaves. I get some water to drink; I'm extremely thirsty for some reason. I get through a few glassfuls before KK calls me to the desk. On the screen of my computer is Kanaya, her eyebrows raise at the sight of me.

"My, that's…quite a predicament you're in there." She says.

"Can you help?" I ask.

"Probably not, but I have a theory as to _how_ this happened to you. Would you like to know?"

"Yes we would like to know how the fuck this happened." KK says.

"It was a rhetorical question, Karkat," she gets a book from off the screen. "There is a legend, respectfully called the 'Legend of the Seadwellers", in which a seadweller would go on land and fall in love with a landweller. In the deep love the seadweller and the landweller would be in, they would exchange a kiss. Later the landweller would realize that whenever he would get wet he would grow the gills of a seadweller and from the moment he kissed the seadweller he would slowly turn into one himself. Of course, it's only a legend, and if this could happen, or even _did _happen, it would be too long ago to have any sort of records on. Though, living proof of this is here, in front of us. Who'd have thought it'd be real?"

"Wait, Sollox did you and Feferi _kiss_?" KK asks.

"Yeah, but thith ith a bullthit legend you're talking about, it can't be real!"

"Then are you suggesting the three of us are all hallucinating the same thing at the same time? I find the odds of that astronomical." says Kanaya.

"Well, we know what happened at least. Does the legend say how to turn back if it actually did happen?" KK asks.

"As I said, this is a very old legend. My only real resources are from my book of myths and a seadweller/landweller romance novel that you, Karkat, suggested I read. If you remember, it also said that that the landweller would, over time, turn into a seadweller himself."

"_WHAT_?" what Kanaya said couldn't possibly be true, could it? I don't believe it!

"Whoa, that can't possibly be right! Look at him now, see? The fins are gone. The legend is a legend after all." KK says. I feel my face and see he's right, they're gone.

"Yes, it appears he's dry now. Get water on him again and see if they come back. If they don't, he's fine. If they do, however…well let's hope they don't." KK looks at me and I look back at him.

"Give it a shot?" he asks. I'm nervous. What if they come back and I'm doomed to being a half-assed fish?

"Yeah, let'th try it." I agree. It's just a stupid legend, right? I like Feferi, but I don't wanna live in water like she does. KK leaves and comes back with a glass of water; he dips his fingers in the glass.

"Ready?" he asks.

"It'th jutht a bullthit legend, nothing'th gonna happen." I say, mostly trying to reassure myself. He flicks drops of water at me. I feel that electrical current again, a bit stronger this time. Not strong enough to inflict pain, but enough to annoy me. I can feel the fins twitching, DAMMIT!

"I…don't think I needed to see that. Fucking creepy, dude." KK sits back down and I take the glass from him to drink.

"I don't know what to say. This is the first time this kind of thing has ever happened, so I don't know what to tell you." Kanaya says, then her face lights up. "Oh, well, you could ask him."

"Athk who?"

"Do I really need to specify who? I think you know. He could help you, seeing as how skilled he is in the field of _science_."

"There was no need for emphasizing science, plus Eridan can't do science for shit. It's all his shitty magic spells and whatever." KK says.

"It's a simple suggestion, Karkat. He might be of some help. And if his services to turn Sollox to normal don't work he can teach him how to be a seadweller."

"BULLTHIT! You will _have_ to KILL me before I take any thort of help or advice from _him_!" I shudder at the thought of taking help from Eridan.

"It's your best shot, since I believe you _want_ to keep this a secret from Feferi." I don't say anything. Why? Because Kanaya is right, I don't want Feferi to think this is her fault, it'd be better if I just keep it from her.

"Fine. We'll go thee Eridan." I sigh. I can't believe I've been reduced to _him_.

"Should I tell him you two are coming?" Kanaya says.

"No, I'd rather show up unexpectedly and watch him squirm a little." KK says, "But look, you CANNOT tell anyone this happened. It's just between me, Sollox, you and fish fuck. Got it?"

"Yes, Karkat, don't worry. I will keep the secret. But, I'd look out for Eridan if I were you two. He might drop a hint to Feferi by accident. They live closely together, you know." she closes out of the chat.

"Dammit, he _would_ talk. We can't trust him!" I get up from the chair.

"Relax dude, I'm gonna help you. If he does anything, he's done okay? Don't worry about it." KK comes up behind me and squeezes my shoulder with what looks like his version of a smile on his face.

"I should dry off before we leave, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah that'd be a good idea."

~oxoXoxo~

_Well this is stupid. I feel like a pathetic fan girl. Well, for this story, I'll be your bitch. Want me to continue? Comment. I am open to suggestions and advice as well, so make sure you give it. I'm also taking suggestions, so you can give those too. _

_God, this feels so short compared to my other stories, I hope it's good. Well, that's all from me. Bye._

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	2. Fish Fuck

_Chapter two? Why yes! I didn't expect this to be so popular, thanks viewers! Chapter one pretty much got the gist of the plot, now just to write out the story itself. THAT SHOULD BE FUN (trololo). Lol, trolling myself—MINDFUCK! Anyway, I don't own Homestuck, I just kidnap the characters every now and then for pleasure _–w–

~oxoXoxo~

"I really think that wearing the big pullover hoodie just automatically tells trolls that there's something wrong with you." KK says. Before we left my hive I dried myself off, thus making the fins go away, and I put on a big pullover just in case water splashed on me. I'm truly nervous, I got wet twice and both times the fins grew. I don't want to believe Kanaya's theory, but it's hard to ignore it.

"Well, there _ith_ thomething wrong with me KK." I snap back and pull the hood lower to cover my face.

"Yes, I know. You're slowly turning into a seadweller." I punch him.

"Thut up!"

"Who the fuck is gonna hear us? There's no one out here! It's as empty as Eridan's quadrants." (A.N: OLDEST FUCKING JOKE IN THE FUCKING BOOK. Mindfucking myself…ewe)

"Are you really cracking lame joketh at a time like thith?"

"We're going to Eridan's hive. Not only have we hit rock bottom, but we've gone mentally insane."

"Right about that," I decide to lead since I know a shortcut to the beach, it doesn't take too long. The salty sea air is cool against my face, and weirdly refreshing.

"Thince Feferi liveth around thith beach, Eridan thould be around here thomewhere," I say.

"What, you never see him whenever you visit Feferi?"

"No, actually, never did, now that I think about it." Odd I never saw him. KK and I walk along the shoreline, avoiding the tide, and we come across a sandbar. All the way out at its tip I see a dramatic, large shipwreck. I can't believe I never noticed it before.

"Ugh, it only figureth we have walk through the water to get to hith hive." I start walking, knowing my shoes will leak. KK follows once he takes his shoes off and rolls up the cuffs of his pants. I soon feel the electricity again.

"Euh…" KK shudders, "Watching those fins come out of your face is so creepy."

"You haven't _felt_ them." We walk for a few minutes before we come out towards the tip, with dozens of rocks sticking out from the sand. I look up at the hive and I know I've been defeated.

"I don't want to be here." I say.

"We have to. Unless, you know…you WANT to be one of the fish freaks."

"NO."

"Okay then. Look, I don't wanna be here either, but you wanna be normal, and Kanaya said he's our best bet. Let's at least give him a shot since we barely have any options at all."

"Fine," I sigh. I know KK's right, but…it's _Eridan_. My feet feel heavy as I walk towards the door; I slowly raise my fist and take a deep breath. Gathering what's left of my sanity, I knock. At first, nothing happens. The waves crash against the rocks, occasionally spraying me, and that's it. I knock again, still nothing. I look back at KK, who is visually annoyed, like normal. He comes up and starts pounding the door.

"Fish fuck! Get your finned ass out here right now before I smash the door in and go ape-shit crazy!" Not a usual insult from KK, he must be trying to be nice.

"W-what?" Eridan finally opens the door, he must've been napping, he doesn't have on his glasses or his usual asshole cape. It just makes the situation even weirder.

"Mind letting us in?" KK glares at him.

"Kar? Dammit I can't see shit, w-where are my glasses…?" he goes back in his hive but leaves the door open, "Uh, come in, I'll be a minute." The inside of Eridan's hive seems almost normal. There are huge guns and rifles and sabers hanging on the walls which I guess is pretty cool, but everything is a different shade of purple so that just ruins it. KK and I sit on the couch which is really a big shell hollowed out with cushions in it and watch Eridan go in what looks like his bathroom to retrieve his glasses.

He comes back out with his glasses. "Might I ask just w-what the fuck you're doin' here w-with one of your low-wblood friends, Kar?" he must not recognize me with the hood, but he noticed the yellow sign on the front of it.

"It's Sollox, fish fuck. And…we need your help." KK looks at me; I'm ready to die of embarrassment. I've been reduced to a stupid, hopeless, whiny, cocky seadweller who would very much like to cull all landwellers—WHICH I STILL AM. I pull off the hood and look up, knowing I look like a pitiful sack of shit. Eridan stands there, staring at me for a minute, and then he leans down and tries to grab the fins.

I swat him away, "Don't touch them,"

"They're obvviously fake, aren't they? Sol, I knew-w you w-were a bastard, but show-win' up at my hivve w-with fake fins glued to your face is low-w evven for you. Now-w stay still so I can take things damn things off and then _properly_ show-w you out." When he says properly I see him glace at the weapons on the walls, he caught me off guard there. He grabs the fins and I can't move, it feels like two needles are poking me in the face and if I try to break free they'll rip the skin off my head. His grip gets tighter and the pain doubles, almost making me scream.

"Dude, let go, you're hurting him!" KK yells, Eridan smirks.

"W-what w-will happen? Oh, I know-w—NOTHIN'." He starts pulling. I try to stop myself from screaming, but that doesn't actually work. Fish fuck almost starts _laughing_ at my expense. I hear something, and Eridan's grip loosens. I see KK holding one of the swords from the wall in front of Eridan's neck.

"Let him go, or else." KK growls.

"Or else w-what?" Eridan glares at him. KK nudges his neck with the blade and he lets go completely—giving me the ability to move and breathe again—backing away like the coward he is.

"I'll kill you," Eridan looks at him like he's out of his mind, which he might be, and backs up another few feet and lowers his hands. KK lowers the sword, "Long story short, Feferi and Sollox kissed and now whenever he gets wet he grows fins, and according to legend, he's slowly turning into one of you guys. He wants to be normal, and I'm sure you'd like him to be a landweller just like everyone else you hate so you can kill him and not be guilty of killing one of your 'fellow highbloods' or whatever, so we need you and your science-y skills to turn him back to normal. So will you _please_ help?" Eridan then looks back at me, but seems more interested than last time.

"You and Fef kissed?" He asks me.

"_That'th_ what you're worried about?" I can't believe this.

"Dude, he's turning into a fucking fish and you're worried that he kissed his girlfriend?"

"It's a simple question, can't blame me for pryin'," He looks back at me with his eyes narrowed, he actually looks serious, "I'll help you, I don't know-w how-w I'll help you, but I w-will. And this better not be a stupid joke either, or else the both 'a you are dead."

"Thanks," KK says, Eridan looks at me, but I turn away.

"Whatever." this is the most mortifying thing that has happened; dear god, why did this have to happen to me?

~oxoXoxo~

_Motherfucker this thing is short. It's __ANNOYING ME__! Ah well, chapter two is done. Sorry it took a long time, the first of June (yesterday, I'm an idiot) I went on a class trip to Hershey Park. It's a special thing the graduating class, or eighth grade, gets to do before we graduate in my school. Speaking of graduation, my last day of school is the thirteenth, and then I will update a hell of a lot quicker than I am now. Also, I may not update this week because of exams, though I could honestly give a shit less about them seeing as how they don't affect my grade, just what classes I'll be put in next year. I can't wait for next year—I'M GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL! FUCK YEAH! Anyways, read and review! Bye guys!_

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	3. Moments

_I'm an idiot! His name is spelled 'Soll__u__x' not 'Sollox', thanks again __Hiezen Uchiha! I'm glad this thing is so popular; I could've sworn this would come off as a stupid fan girl thing, but instead of being stupid, it is well-liked. I LIKE THAT DIFFERENCE! Lol, I'm hyper. Anyways, as always, I don't own Homestuck, as we all know. On with the story!_

~oxoXoxo~

"W-Watch your step, don't w-want to trip in here," Eridan says as he leads KK and I to a cave directly under his hive. He said nobody knows about the place but him, which I take for granted since it doesn't seem any other seadwellers live by him beside Feferi. He really is hopeless, I almost feel sorry for him.

We went through the secret entrance to the cave in his respiteblock and are now walking in a narrow damp cave-like corridor with shiny rock formations sticking out from the walls and floor acting as lights. KK is walking in front of me with the neck of his shirt covering his nose, he said it smells like a raw fish market earlier, I don't notice it and neither does Eridan, and I know that if Eridan and I agree on something there is something _very_ wrong with me, as if fins coming out of my face weren't enough.

Finally we come to the cave, and if Eridan wasn't weird before, what's in this cave makes him straight up creepy.

"Don't you believe magic to be _not_ real?" KK says.

"Yes, and anyone w-who believves in it is an idiot dreamer. This is my Science Chamber." First off, there is a huge glowing rock/jewel type thing in the far wall giving off enough light to hurt a blind girl's eyes. Second, there are at least twelve different bookshelves holding books of every size scattered all over the place. Third, there are a few long tables by the far wall holding all kinds of vials, flasks and bottles holding strange liquids and other weird shit. Fourth and lastly, in the middle of the cave is a podium holding a large book and a shitty wand.

"You tw-wo CANNOT tell anybody about this place, I'm the only one w-who know-ws about it, beside you tw-wo. I'll keep your secret if you tw-wo w-will keep mine, right?" We nod. Eridan goes over to the podium and starts flipping through the book. "W-we're gonna be a w-while dow-wn here, get comfortable," he says. KK takes the only chair down here and I'm forced to sit on a rock; not too comfortable at all. I feel my phone start buzzing in my pocket; I didn't even know I had that thing. Someone is messaging me via Trollian; I've got nothing else to do, might as well answer.

**- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] -**

**GC: **H3H3H3H3H3

**GC:** OH SOLLUX YOU D1RTY B4ST4RD :]

**GC:** F14NLLY GOT TH3 COUR4G3 TO K1SS TH3 G1RL D1D YOU?

**TA:** what are you talking about TZ?

**GC:** YOU KNOW

**GC:** TH4T L1TTL3 "MOM3NT" YOU SH4R3D W1TH F3F3R1

**TA:** who the fuck 2aid FF and ii 2hared a "moment"?

**GC:** NOBODY 1N P4RT1CUL4R…

**GC:** N3P3T4 SUSP3CT3D YOU TWO W3R3 M4T3SPR1T3S

**GC:** 4ND 1 JUST GOT DON3 T4LK1NG TO K4N4Y4

**TA:** kanaya told? 2he wa2n't 2uppo2ed two tell anybody!

**GC:** G33Z DONT G3T YOUR NOOK 1N 4 TW1ST :/

**GC:** SH3 B4R3LY S4ID 4NYTH1NG 1 JUST GOT CUR1OUS

**GC:** BUT YOUV3 JUST CONF1RM3D MY TH3ROY!

**TA:** oh, that2 iit

**GC:** WH4TS 1T

**GC:** YOU D1DNT DO MOR3 D1D YOU?

**TA:** what, no!

**GC:** FUCK TH1S 1M G3TT1NG F3F3R1

**TA:** TZ ii promii2e you, nothiing el2e happened!

**GC:** W3 W1LL S33 ABOUT TH4T

**- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] -**

Shit, I _royally_ fucked that up. Now TZ and FF are gonna suspect something's wrong! "Fucking stupid," I mumble as I slap my forehead. This day has been the absolute worst of anything, the only good part is earlier, and even THAT came with a consequence.

"You alright, dude?" KK asks.

"Fuck my life." I throw the phone into a nearby puddle, or tide pool I guess it is.

"What happened?"

"I told TZ FF and I kithed and now the thinks "thomething elthe" happened becauthe I'm paranoid and now the'th gonna talk to FF."

"Well…let's not get too worried just yet. I think you'll be okay, I mean, it's Terezi. Feferi might blow it off."

"You don't know FF like I do, KK. She might be all happy on the outside, but she'll start worrying about me as soon as she gets the word." I hear something break over by Eridan. I look over and see his hand in a tight fist and the shitty wand in two pieces on the ground. He turns to me and KK, obviously pissed but smiling.

"W-why don't you tw-wo w-wait back upstairs? I'll come for you once I havve a solution ready." He says. We oblige, hoping he doesn't try to tackle us on the way out, but instead of that he just pushes a large rock over the entrance. We head back to his respiteblock.

"Is it just me or did he seem more pissed then normal?" KK asks me.

"I think it's what we were talking about that got him mad." It has to be the reason.

"He _still_ has flushed feelings for Feferi? I thought he got over her! He's so desperate, I bet he locked the door and all the windows and 'lost' the key just to trap us in here with him."

"He would, wouldn't he?" We laugh. I start to think about it, he really _would_ do that, wouldn't he? He is lonely enough. I then get an idea and quickly turn to KK, who is looking at me with the same scared expression I'm wearing.

"I'll get the windowth," I say.

"All doors." KK turns to leave and I follow. If fish fuck really did lock us in…

The front door and all the windows (that aren't filled with broken glass) are locked except for the back door, which was simply stuck. KK and I are standing outback where the sandbar ends, water splashing up on our faces and salty air blowing past us.

"FREE—" KK falls on the sand sprawled out and gasping with his feet floating off the edge of the sandbar.

"Exaggerate much?" I sit down next to him.

"We were dragged down to a fucking underwater dungeon filled with the weirdest shit a troll could own. And I swear I saw a bucket on one of those bookshelves."

"Think tho, KK?"

"You're damn right I think 'tho'." He imitates my lisp.

"Thut up." I laugh and push his shoulder. We spend a few minutes staring at the sky, which is slowly turning lighter shades of purple the closer it is to the horizon.

"The sunrise looks kinda nice, huh?" KK says.

"Yeah…" I enjoy the moment. I may be in a strange condition, but I've gotta admit—the sunrise on the beach sure looks pretty. And sitting here with my best friend makes it all the better.

"Ah!" KK grabs me as the lower half of his body is pulled into the water. "What the fuck is on my leg!" he screams.

"Hold on!" I grab his arms and start pulling him, but whatever has him has a better grip then me. I stare into his scared eyes and try one last pull, but I can't do it. He's pulled in.

~oxoXoxo~

_Watch how many people are gonna start crying for Karkat and yelling at me for adding a cliffhanger, just watch._

_Ahh…I suck _X)

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	4. Two girls, one fish

_Am I annoying you yet? I am officially proud of myself for creating this story; you guys like it, I'm having fun writing it, it just…feels right! You know what I mean? (I bet Gamzee does _ewe_) _

_Well, I suppose I'll stop torturing you and get to an important objective that must be covered for this chapter—only this chapter will have this…an O.C. She's one of my troll O.C's, and will only appear for this chapter and will never be heard from again (in this story at least), so you will most likely hate me this chapter. Well, here's all I have to say to any haters: FU O.C'S ARE AWESOME_

_As usual, I don't own Homestuck or any of its characters, just the damn O.C used in this chapter._

~oxoXoxo~

KK was just pulled under! Shit, what should I do? I don't want to get Eridan, it might be too late if I do; I don't even know how to swim! Wait…I have fins. I can breathe underwater! I take off my shoes, hoodie and shirt and dive in the waves, just being able to breathe is more important than being able to swim, right? As soon as I hit the water I feel the electricity, this time it's extremely strong and sends a shiver down my spine. I shake the feeling off and follow a retreating trail of bubbles which must be from KK. With one kick I'm off, and I start to feel something different. Excitement begins to pump through my heart as I take a deep breath; I swim faster and let the exhilaration of the chase take over me. I'll be damned if let anyone take my moirail.

Me, being a landwelling 'lowblood' who has never swam a day in my life, now swimming to save my best friend's life with newfound fins accidentally given to me by my matesprit, can honestly say…this is the coolest thing to have ever happened to any troll in history. I'm scared out of mind for KK's well-being and swimming at high speeds to great depths with the adrenaline of excitement pumping through my veins, I can't even describe it!

I continue following the trail of bubbles into an underwater cave, which incidentally leads up to the surface and dry land. I look over the waves keeping my head down just in case someone sees me, and then I see KK; he's being dragged ashore by some other troll.

She has wavy horns, shoulder length black hair and thick bangs long enough to hide her eyes, she has fins too. Her black tank top is falling off her shoulders a bit, and on it is Eridan's purple symbol. She's wearing baggy gray shorts and purple flip-flops, and on her wrist I catch a few gold bracelets. She lets go of KK's leg, but he doesn't move. I grit my teeth as I start thinking of what the girl could've done to him on the way here. I watch the girl take something out of her mouth, a hairpin. She pins her bangs back and I finally see her eyes; big, with near purple irises. I decide to get closer.

"Ughh…" I hear KK groaning, at least he's alright.

"You ain't dead yet, are 'ya clown boy?" she drawls. Clown boy? She must be referring to Gamzee, but I don't see him anywhere.

"I'm not a clown you dumb bitch," KK grumbles.

"What?" she looks back at KK. "Aww, you ain't the cute clown troll…"

"Yeah, no fucking shit fish girl. Now, if you don't mind, take me back to the sandbar I was sitting on, I have two sick friends back there that are probably losing their shit looking for me right about now." Her disappointed gaze turns into a glare.

"Not with _that_ attitude, Mr. Grumpynubs-for-horns. You ain't who I want, but there haven't been good pickin's today at the swamp. I'm gonna make you into a hot pot 'a soup." What the fuck did she just say?

KK jumps up "The FUCK did you just say?"

"You heard." She trips him and snatches a long vine hanging from one of the trees and quickly ties him up with it.

"Wh-what the…? You dumb bitch! Untie me right the _fuck_ _now_ before I go apeshit on your swamp ass!"

"Nope. You cute, but you ain't clown boy cute," she yanks the vine, pulling KK back up on his feet. "Now make sure you don't squirm too much when I get the cuttin' knife out, I don't like blood, plus my lusus is takin' her nap so no screamin' either."

"Fuck that! Like hell I'm gonna be dinner for some retarded swamp bitch!"

"That's it!" she turns around and kicks KK in the stomach, now standing on him. "You call me that _disgustin'_ word one more time, I'm 'a cut off your bulge first and shove it down 'yer throat got it?"

I get ready to jump onshore but a hand stops me. I look behind me and see Eridan, now wearing his cape and holding a different shitty wand.

"Shh," he puts his pointer finger on his lips. "Let me take care 'a this." He walks up on shore.

"Pranah," he says. The girl looks up and her scowl deepens to the point where she bares two rows of short sharp teeth.

"Eridan, what the 'F' did I say 'bout you comin' up to _mah _swamp without permission?" she growls.

"Permission doesn't matter w-when someone steals my freshly caught low-wblood."

"How's he yours?" she crosses her arms but doesn't let go of the vine. KK looks too confused to even say something.

"He w-was at my hivve, Pra. He's mine."

"What'd I say 'bout callin' me that? And just 'cause he was on your sandbar don't automatically mean he's yours. Now get the heck outta my swamp 'fore I run you out."

"I'm not leavvin' w-without the low-wblood."

"Too bad." She lets go of the vine and jumps on him, leaving KK alone to try and break free. I sneak up on land making sure the girl, Pranah I guess, doesn't see me. KK sees me and his face lights up.

"Soll—" I quickly cover his mouth.

"Can't let that crazy bitch notice uth, now thut up and I'll untie you." I whisper to him, he nods.

"How'd you even follow me? You can't swim." He rubs his wrists and pulls his shirt tighter over his hands.

I twitch the fins and smile "Thethe help." I help him up and see Eridan and Pranah still fighting, Pranah punching and clawing at Eridan's face and him just taking it, he's not even trying to fight back.

"What's the problem fancy fins? Too _dignified_ to hit a girl?"

"No man w-would dare hit a _lady_ of your caliber." He says. Pranah must catch the sarcasm and she punches him again, this time in the eye.

"Make a move darn it! Stop treatin' me like I'm a defenseless little girl 'an fight me!" she shouts.

"Piranha!" someone yells, I know that voice all too well. KK and Eridan, and apparently Pranah, recognize it too.

"FUCK!" Eridan points his wand at me and yells something, I don't know, and a bright light blinds me as I feel electricity yet again. It's strong like last time, and this time it hurts. I can't it handle the pain, or scream about how much it hurts, I pass out.

I open my eyes again and see I'm in water, I think I'm back offshore but I'm close enough to come back. I try to look above the water but when I do I can't breathe. I realize I'm not in the ocean; the current is very slow and doesn't do much of anything, plus it's too shallow. At the bottom are my glasses, I thought everything looked weird, that must be the reason why they look so big. I swim down to get them but then I realize I can't hold anything. I can't even see my arms! I look down and see my legs and arms are completly gone!

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME?" I scream. I then feel strong vibrations, like there's an earthquake or something. I look up and see what's making everything shake. A giant Eridan. I can't believe any of this, it can't be real! But weather it is or not it's still scary as hell.

"There you are!" He says. He has a glass bowl, and with it he scoops up some of the water and me.

"What the flying FUCK did you do to me theaweed pan? Ath thoon ath I'm…better from whatever the fuck just happened I'll fucking kill you!" I scream at him. I'm so hopelessly confused.

"Quiet!" he says, he must've meant for it to be a whisper, but it hurts my ears like he's yelling right next to my head. "Just play along, w-we can figure out how-w to fix you w-when w-we get back to my hivve. Until then, act like you don't know-w anybody, alright?" I nod hoping he'll stop yelling.

"Here he is," Eridan says as he walks over to a group of trolls. I recognize them as the girl that took KK Pranah, and Feferi. Why is she here? She's the last troll I want to see.

"Oh my cod~!" Feferi squeals as she and Pranah come over to Eridan. They kneel down to look at me.

"That fish is so cute!" Pranah smiles at me. Wait…did she say fish?

"It looks just like Sollux, the little cutie!" Feferi is beaming.

"It's a Gemini Fish, they're very rare." Eridan says.

"Hi you!" Feferi and Pranah crowd around the bowl Eridan is holding.

"Umm…hi?" I say, the girls giggle. I look up at Eridan but he just shrugs.

"So Fef, w-what are you doin' here?" Eridan asks.

"Visiting my friend Piranha; by the looks of earlier, it seem you two are _acquainted_, right?" Feferi's smile falters.

Pranah sighs, "Fefi, I asked you not to call me that."

"Why were you and Eridan fighting anyways?" she asks her.

"There was a landweller," Pranah looks over her shoulder. "Where'd he go? I had 'im tied up over there!"

"Piranha, why can't you stop eating random landwellers that come to the beach?" Feferi sighs.

"They taste good! And I ain't gonna stop 'till I catch my cute clown boy!" she yells, a bit of purple is beneath her eyes.

Feferi sighs again. "I've got food for her. Eridan, can you please take Karkrab, wherever he's hiding, out of this swamp? He'll be safer back on the beach. And make sure you help Sollux find his phone, okay?"

"Yes, Fef, don't w-worry about it."

"With you I have many things to worry about." she says, Eridan scowls. He turns around and yanks KK by his shirt collar out from a patch of tall plants, he's holding my glasses.

"Goodbye, girls!" he yells, they yell their goodbyes back. He starts in the ocean and I hear KK take a deep breath.

"Try to not pass out." Eridan tells him. We go under and Eridan swims us back to his hive. At least telling Feferi what happened to me was avoided, but now I have a newer problem. How fucking fun.

~oxoXoxo~

_Chapter four (now made chapter five by the update) is now done. As said before, this is the last we'll be hearing of Pranah, unless you guys actually WANT my O.C's in this story. I doubt it, and the only troll O.C I have fully created is Pranah, but you can say whatever._

_HOLY CRAP SOLLUX IS A FISH HOW THE FUCK D— you know what? Just go with it. It's part of the story, and stranger shit __will be happening__. See, it's underlined, it will be done. Well, until then, see you guys later!_

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	5. The stranger shit has commenced

_Chapter five is here! Are you guys excited? Hey you know what's weird? I just realized that my birthday, November 22, has __two signs__. It's both Scorpio and Sagittarius, how odd is that? So, if I were a troll, what blue shade would my blood be? Well, my friends (they're a Gemini and a Pieces BTW) both sometimes call me a bitch so I must lean more on the Scorpio side of the zodiac, though every Hometuck character personality quiz I take says I'm either Gamzee (sometimes), Tavros (I get him a lot) or Karkat (I get him most of the time)… Does that make any sense to you guys? Cause for me it doesn't._

_Enough with the mindfucking! Time for the disclaimer! Since you guys don't seem to mind Pranah I may bring her back, but until that's decided, I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK OR ITS CHARACTERS, JUST THIS STORY._

~oxoXoxo~

"I thought that w-would turn you back to normal, not into a fish..." Eridan flips through the big book on the podium in the cave under his hive. He put the bowl I'm now trapped in on one of the tables; KK is sitting by me.

"The girls are right; you're pretty damn cute as a fish, Sollux." KK says.

"I will throw you off the roof of my hive." I say. He doesn't acknowledge me; make a remark, or a comeback. Is KK ignoring me for a reason? He hasn't answered a word I've said since we came back, leaving me pissed out of my mind.

"When will you finally anthwer me?" still no response, just a stare down. I hate this.

"Hey Eridan, can Sollux talk while he's like this?" KK asks him.

"He's been talkin' the entire fuckin' time, Kar. You just can't hear him 'cause he's a fish and you're a landw-weller." He says. I have to admit, that makes sense.

"Well, can he understand me?"

"Of courthe I can underthtand you dumb fuck!" I yell. He must hear glubbing, but he looks at me.

"He says, 'of course I can understand you dumb fuck'." Eridan says, KK glares at me.

"You know, if you weren't a tiny little glubber I strangle you." KK growls.

"That'th a _really_ creative name KK, _great job_." I roll my eyes at him.

"Did he say anything else? I want you to translate what he's saying as long as I can't hear him!" He yells at Eridan.

"He just said that the name you called him w-was stupid." KK glares at me again, this time we have another stare down. I don't have enough time to blink before KK's hands are in the bowl and trying to grab me.

"FUCK!" I try swimming out of his grip but his hands are too big for me to escape.

"Stay still so I can fucking kill you, fucking fish!" he grabs my tailfin, I bite his hand, apparently my teeth are sharp because he yanks it back and yells, accidentally sending me flying up in the air. It's such a big, not to mention weird, adjustment from breathing the air to water then trying to breathe air with gills, I can't breathe at all. I try holding my breath, but that's a lot harder than it sounds.

"Kar, w-what the fuck!" I hear Eridan yell.

"Shit, where's the fucking fishbowl!" KK screams. I'm coming back down, and almost out of breath to hold. Eridan and KK are screaming and trying to find something to catch me in. I close my eyes and hope they won't fuck up, but I have my doubts.

I hear a splash and I can breathe again. "Got him!" KK yells. Thank god he caught me.

"Thankth KK," I sigh in relief. He lowers the bowl to put us at eyes level.

"Are you alright?" he asks me, I nod and smile and make every reassuring facial expression I can to tell him yes.

"Oh good, he's alivve." Eridan walks over to us with his wand in his hand.

"Yeah, no thanks to you fish fuck! I thought you were supposed to be helping us." KK yells at him.

"W-well then, Kar, Sol, I _apologize _for not comin' to your aid sooner, I w-was just over here bein' _stupid_ tryin' to find a spell to get Sol back to normal, _pardon me_." Eridan bows. Bastard.

"We could do without tharcathm fith fuck." I glare at him.

"Look, I'm doin' this for _you_ Sol. I'm takin' time out 'a my busy schedule to help _you_, I think you should be a bit more considerate." He glares back. What's his problem? He was calm and, actually remotely helpful not even two minutes ago. "Kar, put Sol back on the table, if you don't mind. I may havve a solution to turn him normal." KK obeys, Eridan points his wand at me and I feel the anxiety welling up inside me. What if he fucks it up like last time and turns me into something worse than a tiny fish? He yells something in the same strange language like last time, and like last time a bright white light blinds me and electrical currents shoot through my body, same goes for the pain as well. Hopefully, this time it'll work? I can't take it anymore, and like last time, I pass out.

"Sollux! Dude, wake up!" KK is yelling. I try opening my eyes, but god I'm tired. Why can't I just go to sleep? I don't need a recoopercoon, I'll just doze off here on the cold ground.

"Nuh…" I mean no, and I roll over, hopefully away from him.

"Sol, wake up." I hear Eridan walking over to me. Idiot, he deserves that so called 'pretty face' of his to smashed to bits. He isn't trying to help me, he's fucking around. I bet he knows how to turn me back to normal, but refuses to. I open my eyes and see both KK and Eridan hovering over me, both have concerned looks on their faces, that's odd.

"What," I ask. Is there something wrong with my voice? Why does it sound so high pitched? "Great, what'd you do now Eridan?" I glare at him, he backs up a little and…is he _blushing_?

"Uh-umm…w-well, you're not a fish anymore…in fact it's a good thing I threw-w that tow-wel ovver you…" His eyes wander somewhere else as he scratches the back of his neck, his face is bright purple. I look at KK, but as soon as I look at him he turns away.

"Umm…I'll go get Kanaya, she can send over some clothes for you to wear, hopefully…" KK gets up and leaves, he still won't look at me.

"I'll come w-with you!" Eridan runs after him. What the hell is their problem? I can see Eridan doing something like that, but KK? And what did he mean 'send clothes for me to wear'? I look down at my body…okay, I KNOW those aren't mine.

~oxoXoxo~

_Just in case you guys are wondering, I'm listening to Skrillex while writing this. He's a big inspiration to me…yeah I don't know why I said that. But don't you guys think his songs fit Sollux? Especially the Dirtyphonics remix of Scary Monsters & Nice Sprites. SM&NS is already my favorite song, but that remix is like fucking ear sex, just go listen to it, you won't regret it._

_Anyways, what happened to Sollux is pretty much self-explanatory, and embarrassing. Seriously, I'm a girl writing in the point of view of guy who just had the weirdest thing happen to him. My face is hot (not from my mom refusing to turn on the A.C) and I'm being a tryhard keeping a straight face while writing this, cause if I crack a smile I'll start laughing and then I'll wake up my grandma, which is NEVER a good thing._

_You guys remember last chapter when I said 'stranger shit will be happening'? This is the start of it. Get ready for a ride, my friends, cause it's all hell from here on. _:D

_In other news, this story has reached __one thousand views__. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, if it isn't let's all be stupid and applaud the idiot girl, shall we? I don't know if it's good, but all I have I to say about it is thank you, thank you guys so much. You're all awesome for putting up with me and I couldn't be more thankful for it. Love you guys, see you all next time._

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	6. A bad matesprit?

_Chapter six is here! I have basically nothing to say…so why not ask questions? Questions, suggestions, anything! Either review or shoot me a P.M, I'll be sure to answer. See, now is when I expect suggestions cause now is when all the magic shit will be happening. As said in the last chapter, from there on it's gonna be a hell of a ride, I wasn't just saying that, I was being honest._

_As always, I don't own Homestuck. ON WITH THE STORY!_

~oxoXoxo~

"Why did you come?" I ask Kanaya. We're standing in Eridan's respiteblock; Eridan and KK are back in the cave. Good thing too, I honestly don't want anybody to see me like this. I mean, seriously—a simple problem, one I'm sure could have been easily fixed, evolved into a huge catastrophe, and now I'm a…god, I don't even want to say it!

"I came because Eridan is incapable of creating a solution on his own, Sollux. Now will you please put on the outfit I laid out for you?" she crosses her arms.

"I'm not wearing a fucking thkirt Kanaya!" I scream. My voice is so weird now, not mention…other things.

She glares at me, "Put on the outfit I laid out for you like a good girl, Sollux." She growls. Look, if you haven't witnessed one of Kanaya's glares consider yourself one lucky bastard. I feel tears forming in my eyes as I do what she says.

"Yeth ma'am," I say. The outfit itself isn't that bad, honestly. It's a black shirt with my yellow symbol on it, the left arm is blue and the right is red. Now that I think about it, the skirt's alright. It's plain gray with pleats, kinda simple. And for shoes Kanaya gave me boots, the left one white, the right one black. As soon as I'm dressed she directs me to a mirror, dear god my hair got long, long enough to touch my shoulders, and it's wet, and it's a mess. Though, that's not what really catches my eye.

"That thpell didn't do thit! I thtill have finth!" I yell; I'm about ready to go back down to the cave punch Eridan in the face.

"Calm down, Sollux. It's okay," she takes the hairbrush she brought and starts brushing my hair.

"No, it'th not! Everything ith going to thit! First finth, then a kidnapping, then being a tiny fucking fith, and then, thith!"

"You're over exaggerating, Sollux."

"Am I? Am I over-fucking-exaggerating, Kanaya?" She grabs my shoulders, turns me around to face her, and slaps me.

"Ow," I say.

"You were hysterical."

"No, I-I'm glad you did that, thankth." She brought me back to my senses, finally. What the hell was I thinking?

"Here, your hair should be completely dry in a minute. Do you want to head back down to the cave?" she asks me.

"I'm hoping you're not looking for an anthwer, cauthe you're not gonna get one." I start down, she follows me.

"O-oh, Sol! W-we w-were w-wonderin' w-when you'd come dow-wn." (A.N: god, w's everywhere) Eridan stutters and grins stupidly at me. I walk up to him, he starts saying something that sounds like an apology but I'm not listening. I punch him in the face.

"W-what the fuck!" he yells.

"That'th for what you did, fith fuck," I glare at him, he shuts up completely. I finally notice KK sitting on a rock jutting out from the ground, he's holding my glasses. "I'm through fucking around, you fix me or elthe, got it?" Eridan holds up his hands in a sad attempt to protect himself.

"I would listen to the lady if I were you, Eridan." Kanaya says.

"Thtop calling me that!" I scream at her.

"Umm," someone says.

"What!" I turn back around and see its KK.

His eyes wander off as he hands me my glasses, "Here."

"Oh, thankth," The only thing left of my sanity, a pair of glasses with discolored lenses. KK still won't look at me, what's his problem? "Are you okay, dude?" I ask him.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." he finally looks at me, but it's not what I expect. It's weird looking him in the eye, my face feels a bit hot, and I'm feeling the anxiety again. Why is that? KK's been my friend for god knows how long, why do I all of a sudden feel weird when I look at him? I decide to ignore it, must simply be a side effect from the spell.

"Well then, Eridan, let's get started, shall we? We should at least turn Sollux back to a male." Kanaya says, breaking my trance.

"Yeah, sure." He says.

It's been god knows how long, and listening to Kanaya and Eridan argue is starting to get old. I've tried to keep myself as dry as possible, the boots help with my feet but the ceiling of the cave drips in a few places, and those places always seem to be where I try to get comfortable. KK refuses to look at me, even when I try to start up a conversation. What the fuck is his problem? I salvaged my phone from the puddle I threw it in, looks like Feferi has been messaging me. It's about time I message her back.

**- cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] -**

**CC: **Sollux! As soon as you find your p) (one message me back okay?

**CC:** 3 (A.N: that's supposed to be a digital heart BTW)

**- twinArmageddons [TA] responded -**

**TA:** found iit.

**CC:** GLUB GLUB! 38D

**CC:** Hiii Solly.

**TA:** diid you need 2omethiing?

**CC:** No.

**CC:** Just wanted to talk to you. 38)

**TA:** oh.

**TA:** what diid you want two talk about?

**CC:** Not) (ing, reely, now t) (at I t) (ink about it. 38/

**CC:** W) (y does t) (is always ) (appen w) (en we message each ot) (er?

**CC:** We can never talk over Trollian!

**TA:** gue22 were the kiind of troll2 who actually do stuff.

**CC:** 3B/

**CC:** Alrig) (t, w) (at's wrong?

**TA:** nothiing2 wrong.

**TA: **why would anything bee wrong? (A.N: lol 'bee'. It doesn't actually follow his typing quirk, but when shit happens, you go all out, am I right?)

**TA:** iit never wa2 wrong and never wiill bee wrong.

**CC:** Somet) (ing is obviously wrong, Sollux.

**CC: **Plus Piran) (a and I found your pants at her swamp. 3B(

**TA:** what.

**CC:** You ) (eard.

**CC:** W) (en were you even at ) (er swamp?

**TA:** never I 2wear!

**TA:** FF would II liie to you?

**CC:** ) (mm 38/

**CC: **You're rig) (t! Sorry for doubting you, Solly. 38)

**CC:** Anyway, I've gotta go.

**CC:** BY-E! 38D

**- cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] -**

That was nerve racking, I can't believe I brought out the lying card! What kind of matesprit am I to be lying to FF? I should just go die in a ditch for doing that. Why can't someone just shoot me?

"Hey," KK says, he puts his hand on my shoulder. "You alright?" I try to hold back tears, but they won't stop. I grab KK's hand and pull him into Eridan's respiteblock.

"I…I fucked up, KK…" I say.

"D-Don't start crying, dude," he holds my hands. "Whatever you fucked up I'm sure it wasn't anything bad,"

I pull him closer into a hug. "I-I lied to FF…I told her everything'th fine and, and it ith't!" I start crying over his shoulder. I can't believe what I did, I'm a terrible matesprit!

"It's okay, Sollux, we're gonna fix everything. Okay?" KK pulls away a bit and smiles, actually smiles, at me. There's that feeling again, now it's hard to ignore.

"Really? You promise?" I ask him, still sniffling.

"I promise."

I hug him tight, "Thankth, KK." The strange feeling is getting stronger fast, and my heartbeat is racing with it. I finally recognize it: the feeling is the same one I felt back on the beach with FF! But…why do I feel the same way for KK?

~oxoXoxo~

_Okay, let's clear things up before unnecessary controversy happens, okay? I have never seen an image of Fem!Sol, so I kinda just made up something, plus Kanaya does have an eye for fashion. Plus, Sollux already has bipolar disorder (no bullshit, look it up. Though you guys should already know that), so therefor, I feel that him being a girl his mood swings are magnified. Truthfully, the only gender swapped character I've seen is Karkat, and he was basically the same as he is normally, if not a bit more pissy, so I feel my little version of Fem!Sol is fine, but you guys can correct me however you need._

_And as said earlier, shoot me some questions! I'll be sure to answer whatever you throw at me. _

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	7. Test beast

_YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! I'm so glad you all like this story, this is getting so popular, I'd have never imagined it! Really, this is floating very well, and also, you all may like to know…I'm thinking of starting another fiction. The new one will involve a certain clown and a bloodthirsty girl with green lips (hint hint!), probably once this story is finished I'll post a preview of it, I'm planning on fully publishing it around Halloween. Around the time I get back from my vacation (or later, I'm not leaving too long, and I think we'll be taking the laptop. For more info go to the update) I'm thinking of posting the preview, it'll be a separate thing all by itself, like one of those one shots. _

_Do I honestly need to keep doing the disclaimer? The characters don't belong to me! I just *borrow* them every once in a while _–w–

_(I believe I'm repeating myself in that last paragraph up there)_

~oxoXoxo~

"I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING TEST BEAST FISH FUCK! YOU CAN SHOVE THAT BOTTLE AND ALL YOUR SHITTY WANDS UP YOUR ASS FOR ALL I CARE, 'CAUSE I'M NOT DRINKING PURPLE GOOPY SHIT!" KK will not stop screaming. Eridan asked him to test one of the 'concoctions', I guess you'd call it, to turn me back to normal, well, as normal as I was, and it's not going very well. Kanaya went back upstairs to get something to eat; at least that's what she said. I'd follow her but KK is really freaking me out, and I may be scared, but I'm also kind of interested in how things will play out between him and Eridan. They're in each other's faces growling at each other like beasts, it's…riveting (A.N: is it just me, or does anyone else like watching boys get in catfights?).

"You need to test the fuckin' elixir, Kar." Eridan scowls at him.

"No." KK takes a step forward, pushing his forehead against Eridan's face, KK really is short.

"Get. Off. Me." This time Eridan takes a step forward. Kanaya sneaks in and sits by me; she has a small bowl of popcorn.

"They're still going at it?" she offers me some.

"What do you think? They're both thtubborn fuckth who could a thit leth about each other." I think KK's about to snap, and in Eridan's face! This is gonna be hilarious.

"Alright boys, stop playing around we have business to take care of," Kanaya says. Their glares focus on her but she's unfazed. "You heard me. Stop this fighting."

"I w-would, but Kar is bein' a stubborn bastard," Eridan whines. "As usual…" I hear him say. I don't think that was meant to be heard.

"Oh, _I'm_ a stubborn bastard? LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE FISH FUCK! ONLY A SO-CALLED 'STUBBORN BASTARD' LIKE YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT ONE EVEN IS!" KK screams.

Kanaya hands me the bowl. "Boys!" she stands up and puts her hands on her hips, "You will both stop. Karkat, test the concoction, and Eridan, stop messing around! This is serious; not only have you wasted time but you haven't helped Sollux at all! This insanity has gone on long enough; you will both stop or else." She glares at them and they separate. Aw, she stopped the fight.

"S-sorry, Kan." Eridan stutters. She looks at KK, he turns away.

"Well?" she asks him.

"I, umm…sorry…" his eyes wander off.

"Now test the concoction."

"I'm not gonna! What if something weird happens to _me_? Then we'll have two problems to fix!"

"We won't know unless you try." Looks like KK isn't gonna break without a fight. I figure it's time I step in.

"KK," I get up from my seat, his eyes meet mine and I feel my heart rate start racing, I ignore it though. "Thtop thith fighting, pleathe? Jutht tetht the goopy thit and be done with it." I ask him. This innocent act I'm putting up is hopelessly stupid, and with fins on my face it's probably laughable.

I brace myself for humiliation, "…fine." KK sighs. Holy shit, it worked? Maybe being a girl does have its perks. KK grabs the bottle from Eridan's hand, uncovers the top, and gulps down half the bottle.

"_Disgusting_," he shivers.

"You didn't have to drink that much," Eridan says.

"GODAMMIT! YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT BEFORE I DRANK IT FISH FUCK!" KK screams at him. He starts panting. "Hey, is anyone else really hot?"

"Gross, Kar, you're sw-weatin'." He is, really heavily.

"If he turns into a girl, then we'll at least have a solution for the current problem. Let's cross our fingers." Kanaya says. KK starts shaking; he looks like he's in serious pain. His hands clench into fists as he slowly raises them up to his head. I hate seeing him like this, I start over to him, but he runs.

"KK!" I yell as I run after him, I hear Eridan and Kanaya running after him too. We follow KK to Eridan's bathroom; I try to go in but the door is locked. "KK, open the door!" There's no answer.

"Karkat, are you alright?" Kanaya knocks on the door, I hear moaning but that's all.

"Kar?" Eridan tries next.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" KK screams. I try the door again, this time it's open. KK is sticking his head in the sink. I slowly walk in, hoping he won't freak out on me.

"KK? You alright?" I ask him. He raises his head, his hair is almost touching his shoulders; he slowly turns to me, and we stare at each other for a minute.

"DO I LOOK ALL-FUCKIN'-RIGHT TO YOU?" his voice is higher, and a bit shrill.

"Oh good, it worked." Kanaya says.

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT FUCKIN' WORKED! NOW FIX US GODAMMIT!" KK as a girl screams a lot, and he looks a lot different. A long sleeved shirt doesn't hide everything it seems.

"Umm, that's the thing…" Eridan starts. "You drank up most of it, Kar. There might not be enough for the both 'a you."

"Well then, can't you jutht make more?" I ask him.

"W-well yeah, but it's gonna take a w-while."

"Let one of them kill it, I have the recipe for it written down." Kanaya says. I make a grab for the bottle, but so does KK. I glare at him—her, I mean—and she glares back at me.

"What are you doing, KK? Let me have the bottle." I try sounding polite again, but this time it doesn't work.

"Why? I was forced into it, I should drink it." KK is so weird as a girl, it's like he's a completely different person. No wonder he couldn't look at me earlier. Now if only he'd give me the damn bottle.

~oxoXoxo~

_And here comes yet ANOTHER problem! And just in time too, my laptop's about to die on me. Read and review!_

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	8. Shit smoothies

_This story has had the most epic jump in views I've seen in the entire time I've been here on FanFiction _o_o

_You guys are the absolute best, thanks so much! _

_As usual, I don't own Homestuck or any of the characters. Enjoy!_

~oxoXoxo~

"C'mon! It can't be that fucking hard to make a shit smoothie!" KK won't stop yelling at Eridan and Kanaya. Since we couldn't decide who drank the rest of the concoction without attempting murder on each other, Kanaya just took it back to make more.

"Karkat, please go sit down." she tells him—her, sorry—for the one millionth time.

"It'll be done when it's done Kar, now-w shut the fuck up and w-wait." Eridan hisses at him—her, dammit.

"You're not gonna tell me what I can and can't do fish fuck!" She (now that's just weird) grabs the bottle and drinks the rest of it.

"KK you bitch!" I yell. I get up and start to run over to her but Kanaya stops me. KK and I glare at each other for a minute, than he—she, I'll never get used to that—drops the bottle.

"Jegus, this is worse than earlier!" she groans. KK starts shaking like last time, this time more violently, he—SHE—covers her mouth like she's gonna be sick and runs out the cave. I go after her.

"KK, open the damn door!" She locked the bathroom door again.

"Go away!" she whines. I hear a lot of coughing.

"W-what's happenin' in there?" I didn't know Eridan followed us.

"I think the'th barfing," it's what it sounds like, at least.

"Kar? Are you alright?" Eridan knocks on the door. I hear the lock click and KK sticks her head out, she looks sick.

"What the fuck do you want?" she moans.

"Did you, uh…vomit?"

"Noo, really? I thought it was obvious," she opens the door completely and wipes her face with a wet towel. She stares at her reflection in the mirror, "That fucking shit smoothie didn't do anything but raise hell in my stomach!"

"That's because you rejected it, Karkat," Kanaya walks up beside me. "And honestly, I'm feeling a bit drowsy; might I suggest we turn in?"

"But the concoction'th not done yet," I tell her.

"You're right; it needs to sit for a while. Sollux, Karkat, don't worry about it, I was able to finish it, but you two can't drink it now. Really, it should be fine in a little bit, but I'm sure we're all tired, let's get some rest before we try anything else." I am kind of tired, but I want to get my hands on that shit smoothie before KK does.

"Uh, Kan? I don't have extra sleepin' quarters for you guys." Eridan says.

"I'll cope. I'm sure Karkat and Sollux will do the same, right?" she looks at us expectantly.

"Y-yeah, of courthe." I say.

"Whatever, the sooner we get to sleep the sooner I get to being normal." KK crosses his—HER—arms. Yeah, yeah, sleep my ass. As soon as Eridan and Kanaya doze off KK'll go drink the whole thing for himself—GODAMMIT HERSELF. I'm not gonna let that happen.

Eridan went back to his respiteblock, Kanaya followed him, 'to make sure you girls don't try anything' she said. The only person she should worry about is KK; I _know_ she'll try something. I'm lying on the shell-couch thing by the entrance of Eridan's hive, and KK is on the other shell-couch by the table. Neither of us can sleep.

"God…dammit…" KK keeps mumbling to herself and shifting from one side to the other. I'm not comfortable either but she's just being obnoxious.

"Will you thut up?" I say.

"Oh I'm sorry, am I annoying you? Maybe I should be louder so you'll leave."

"What is your problem? You've been pissy and bitchy thince you drank that thit thmoothie, even _more_ than normal."

"That's cause I was forced into it!" she whispers loudly.

"You were the only one who could drink it! Eridan and Kanaya made it, and I'm already in deep thit ath it ith, you were only helping, and you were perfectly fine!" I hiss back.

"Bullshit! You guys forced me!"

"When will you get it through your head?" I sigh.

"Whatever." She gets up.

"Oh, now what are you doing?"

"I don't know about you, but _I'm_ going to fix myself." I knew it!

"No you don't! You're gonna drink the whole thing for yourthelf!" I'm trying not to be loud, but it's hard.

"And what are you gonna do about it? Whine?" she leans in the doorway.

"I'm coming with you, that'th what. We _both_ need that thing, not jutht you." she rolls her eyes and we leave.

Getting past Eridan and Kanaya without waking them up was easier than I thought, they're pretty heavy sleepers.

"Alright, we're down here," KK says. "Now where's the bottle?" I notice the book that was on the podium earlier is now on one of the tables, and sitting on it are two bottles of, purple…slime? That's what it looks like.

"Are those it?" I point to the bottles. KK goes over to them takes their lids off and sniffs them.

"Ugh…yeah it's these things." she hands me one of the bottles. "Hey uh, dude? Sorry for being a bitch, and shit…" Hearing KK try to apologize is even more sickening then smelling the concoction, especially as a girl; he sounds absolutely pitiful.

"Jutht thut up and drink the thit thmoothie, KK."

"Fine." We drink. Dear God, it tastes like sour milk mixed with grape juice (A.N: I drank that on a dare, if you don't like barfing, don't try it). I have a really bad taste in my mouth, but that's it. KK looks like she's gonna be sick again, but she stays. Then it starts getting hot, like really hot. I start sweating, I have to take off my glasses, they're sliding off anyway. I feel my sense of touch fading and I start shaking. Is this what a seizure feels like? I can't look at myself, hell knows what's happening to my body, and I don't want to see it happen. I close my eyes and wait for the nightmare to end. Then it all stops. Just like that, now I'm fine, it's like I never drank the concoction to begin with.

"Did it work?" a voice asks. I haven't that voice in a while, I open my eyes and see KK, and he's back to normal!

"You're completely fine," I say, my voice is much deeper. I look down at myself, "_I'm_ completely fine! It worked!" I'm practically laughing.

"Where are your pants, dude?" KK laughs. Oh, that's right; I'm still wearing the skirt.

"I don't know, drowning in an inthane fith bitch'th thwamp?" I say, remembering the conversation between me and FF. KK stops laughing.

"Umm…sorry about that…I couldn't find them." He says.

"How do you not find a pair of panth in a thwamp? You know what, forget it. Didn't Kanaya bring a bag with her, I wanna thee if there are normal clotheth in there thomewhere." We start looking around; this thing has a rather comfortable breeze, how did I not notice that before? Eventually KK finds a large bag resting on one of the emptier bookshelves and and in it clothes similar to the ones I usually wear; I go behind the shelf and get changed.

"Almotht back to normal," I sigh twitching the fins. I see KK with the big book that normally rests on the podium now back on the podium reading it.

"This doesn't make sense at all, how do those two read this?" he says. I decide to take a look at it.

"There are tranthlationth," I notice papers with Eridan's scrawled writing taped to the pages.

"Even _those_ don't make sense, I mean look at this one! How do you even say that, 'ito, renem, farem'?" he reads, once he reads the words I can't move. I glance at KK and see he's standing completely still, like he's frozen. It gets cold, freezing cold. My vision is blurring and I'm losing feeling in my body again. I'm drifting off; oh god, what the hell now?

~oxoXoxo~

_Yup. Shit happens. _X)

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	9. Switch!

_Strange cliffhanger last chapter, was it? Don't worry 'bout it, here you'll suddenly understand everything…maybe. Hey, I'm no miracle worker; you want that shit go see a Capricorn, not a cusp freak._

_I don't own Homestuck. READ ON!_

~oxoXoxo~

I open my eyes to the cave ceiling. I sit up and stretch, my throat hurts for some reason. Did I pass out from exhaustion? I _guess_ that makes sense, then I realize…something is wrong. I don't know what, but something is, and it's freaking me out.

"Hey KK…" there's something wrong with my voice again. It doesn't sound like a girls, it's not that, it kinda sounds like KK's, honestly. That's odd. I decide to start looking for him. I get up and don't even take two steps before I trip over someone. I look and see it's…it's me. It's me, lying on the ground, with fins, sleeping. I look down at myself and see KK's clothes. His shirt, his pants, his shoes, I look at my reflection in a nearby tide pool and see KK looking back at me.

"What the fuck…" this isn't real. It can't be real. A lot of strange shit has happened, but this—this is a dream...right?

"Ugh…what was that?" KK is waking up. Aw shit, what do I do? He's gonna freak out, the start screaming kind of freak out.

"KK, don't freak out," I tell him. He sits up and stares at me.

"What the fuck," he says.

"We can't make noise, they'll wake up," Talking without a lisp is weird.

"What the fuck,"

"Let's just figure out how to fix this, it'll be okay,"

"What the fuck!" he starts screaming. I quickly cover his—well, my—mouth.

"Shut up!" I tell him. He stops screaming, but he still looks pretty freaked out, I let him go.

"Wh-why are you me?" he asks, then he looks down at himself. "Why am I _you_?"

"I don't know! I woke up and I was you,"

"You fell athleep?" Hearing my voice speak without me making it is so weird.

"No, I don't think so…" I try remembering what happened, but my memory is hazy. I know we drank the weird potion shit smoothie thing thus turning us back into guys, then KK went looking in Eridan's weird magic—sorry, science—book.

"Didn't we go looking in Eridan'th thit thcience book?" KK asks.

"YOU did. But then what happened?" Wasn't he reading it? WAIT, "You read something out of it and we passed out!" finally, I remember!

"Oh yeah! Wait…_I_ did thith?"

"I guess so; guess magic isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"Well, how do we turn back?" That's a good question.

"We could ask Kanaya and Eridan when they wake up," KK stares at me like I've lost it.

"We can't tell them! Not only will Eridan flip thit but Kanaya will _punith uth_." That doesn't sound good.

"Then, what do you suggest we do?" KK stands there for a minute with his—my, dammit—chin resting in his—fuck me, my—hand.

"Let'th fix it ourthelveth. The thpell worked when I thaid it, tho let'th jutht look for right one to change uth back." That makes sense, I think. I want to be as close to normal as I can, and being in my best friend's body isn't close to that by a longshot.

"Let's do it." We don't have a choice.

Trying to fix ourselves proved to be impossible very quickly. Nothing we do comes out right! It either wears off in the matter of minutes, or doesn't work at all!

"Let's give up," I tell KK. "This is stupid and nothing is working."

"No, we can do thith." He says.

"Face it KK, we _can't_ do it. Let's just tell Eridan and Kanaya and have them help us."

"No Thollux!" KK grabs my—er, his, yet mine cause I'm in his body…fuck it—shoulders. "We are not giving up! Ethpecially not when I've created a new theory." he smiles.

"What is it?"

"Backwardth," he goes back over to the book on the podium. "I'll thay the thame thpell backwardth."

"And you think it'll work?"

"If it doethn't, then we'll tell Kanaya and fith fuck" He flips through a few pages. "'Oti, mener, meraf'" he reads. I don't feel anything, or see anything different.

"Did it work?" I ask anyway, hearing KK's voice speak when I try to completely breaks KK's theory, and his nerves.

"Obviouthly not," he throws the book at the wall. "DAMMIT!"

"Sol, w-what the fuck!" Eridan and Kanaya are standing in the entrance.

"Eridan, Kanaya! We didn't know you two were up," KK is visibly nervous. Eridan ignores him and goes after his book, Kanaya just stares at us.

"It seems you two have taken care of yourselves," she says. She walks up to me, KK is kinda short honestly, I'm slightly looking up at Kanaya standing up straight, "Why do things seem wrong then?" I don't know if she's asking me or just thinking out loud.

"Who knows?" I shrug. That's when she glares at me. Our faces are inches apart as her eyes narrow in mine—KK's, godammit.

"Sollux," she says. Aw, shit, we didn't even have time to _try_ and fool them! "Mind telling us what happened down here?"

"N-nothing! We didn't wanna wait for the potion thing tho we came down here! We must've fallen athleep, though…" KK laughs. I glare at him, he shrugs.

"Karkat, I didn't ask you, now did I?"

"W-what?" Eridan finally joins the conversation.

"Alright, alright! God," I can't take her death glare anymore. "KK went looking through fish fuck's magic book and recited some spell making us pass out and when we woke up we were in each other's bodies."

"Dude, what the fuck!" KK yells.

"Excuse me for telling the truth!"

"W-wait, so…Sol is Kar 'an Kar is Sol?" Eridan asks.

"They just said that, Eridan," Kanaya rolls her eyes. "Well, you two have caused this to yourselves; I assume you'd like to fix yourselves as well?"

"NO!" I yell before KK can say anything. "We need help. We tried everything we could think of, and nothing worked."

"Everything you thought of?" she asks.

"Yeah, nothing worked." KK says.

"Show-ws w-what you idiots know-w" Eridan laughs.

"What'th that thuppothed to mean, fith fuck?" KK glares at him.

"If you've sw-witched bodies there's only one w-way to turn back,"

"Can you tell us what that is?" He's really getting on my nerves.

"Kiss." Eridan says. Is he serious?

~oxoXoxo~

_Yes this was quite some bullshit. I just love embarrassing myself._

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	10. Kiss?

_Wow, I've apparently reached Andrew Hussie status, according to a few of viewers. That was just about one of the most unexpected things to happen, pretty damn cool might I say_ B)

_Thanks guys! I won't keep you waiting much longer, and I honestly doubt anyone actually reads my notes up here. Anyways, I don't own Homestuck, except in my dream last night where Andrew Hussie, AmbitiousBard, OctoPimp and me all had shared owns of it and were coming up with ideas on how to make Homestuck into a T.V series, then something happened and it all shifted to a Falling in Reverse concert with my guy friends and One Piece and my best friend and whiskey… Yeah, I don't know._

~oxoXoxo~

"I'm thorry…what?" KK asks. Eridan can't possibly be serious. I look back at Kanaya, she nods.

"Kiss. It's the only w-way, Kar." Eridan smiles. That bastard is enjoying this.

"KK's my friend, but I don't think I could do _that_." I say.

"Y-yeah, I don't know about that." he agrees.

"You w-want to be normal, right?"

"Yeah." KK and I say.

"W-well then, if you'd _like_ to be each other till the day you die, _don't_ kiss. It ain't me, after all," He shrugs.

"Wait, what'd you thay?" KK asks.

"That spell you cast on yourself and Sol becomes permanent next sunrise," fish fuck says. I glance at KK; he's wearing the same scared expression I am.

"You tell uth that _now_? I can't tell if you're thtupid or inthane!" KK yells.

"It's your fault, Kar."

"I didn't know _thith_ would happen! And I wath jutht reading that thide note you have on the page!"

"It's still your fault."

"He's right, Karkat." Kanaya says.

"About what?" I ask her.

"How to turn back; it's even written in the book."

"Really? I didn't know-w that." Eridan says. What?

"How did you not know that but know how to turn back?" I ask him.

"I w-was just guessin', plus it makes sense. Now-w I havve proof 'a my theory." He smiles again.

"Pompouth bathtard." KK rolls his—er, my—eyes.

"Half fish low-wblood." Eridan snaps back.

"I suggest you two don't waste time," Kanaya says. "We can't help Sollux, his body I mean, any as long as this is in effect, so you boys kiss or stay each other for the rest of your lives." Doesn't Kanaya care if KK and I are doomed to live in each other's bodies for the rest of our lives? If anyone should it's her!

"Don't you care about what's happened to us?" I ask her.

"Of course I do, but it's your decision. I have no say in it and I can't force you towards an answer." This isn't making sense. Does she honestly think we _want_ to be each other for the rest of our lives?

"Kanaya, do you truly think Thollux and I want to be thtuck in each other'th bodieth for the retht of our liveth?" KK asks.

"You tw-wo can't read w-what's w-written here, obvviously." Eridan rolls his eyes as he takes the book. He and Kanaya head back to the entrance.

"We'll leave you two alone." Kanaya says, and they leave. What the hell was that about? Is there some kind of hidden text on that page? Now I want to get at that book just so I can decipher what's written.

"I want that book." KK says.

"Me too," I sigh. "That's no way around this, is there?"

"Gueth not," God, this is embarrassing, no wonder KK won't look at me again. I want to turn back, but is this _really_ the only way? KK's my friend, and I have a girlfriend, so…

"This is awkward." I say.

"Yeah…" We stay silent for a while

"Should we…?" I ask him.

"I don't know…" I don't know either. I guess we should, but then, maybe we _shouldn't_? God, my think pan hurts.

"Fuck it, let's kiss." I say. KK stares at me.

"Umm…"

"I couldn't be confused right now, and I know you feel the same, let's just get it over with." He stares at me like I've lost it, which I'm sure I have.

"I wanna be normal too, dude, but…_really_?" he asks, I nod.

"Seems to be the only way."

"But what about that thing Kanaya and Eridan won't tell uth about?"

"Forget it."

"But,"

"KK," I say, claiming his attention. "Just shut up and kiss me." I lean in close, he does the same. Our foreheads are touching. I feel my face getting hot, our lips touch. I feel electricity, its faint warmth spreading though my body, this is weird. It's different from what I felt with Feferi, and I…I kinda…I kinda like it. I hold his hand, he holds mine, and we stay intertwined. I start feeling lightheaded, as I fall unconscious, I've decided I don't want FF as my matesprit anymore, I want KK.

~oxoXoxo~

_Some things just don't make sense, do they?_

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	11. Nightmare

_Here's where the controversy begins! Karkat of Feferi? You guys can tell me in the reviews, though I think we already know who's the better match for Sollux, right?_

_I don't own Homestuck, enjoy!_

~oxoXoxo~

I try opening my eyes, but I'm too tired. I want to get up but my body won't let me, why am I so tired? I force my eyes open, I see KK lying in front of me; he's sleeping. Thank god the theory actually worked. I just want to lay here, not do anything, I'm too tired. KK's hand tightens around mine, he looks scared. He must be having a bad dream, I hold his hand.

"It'th okay," I whisper to him. I doze off (A.N: please remember there is no Sburb in this story, so therefor there is no Prospit and Derse).

My eyes open to my hive, haven't seen this place in a while. Guess I'm dreaming. I slide off my recoopercoon, which I was sitting on. I feel my face, no fins. Sleep is bliss, it seems.

"Sollux," a voice says. I look over to my desk and see Feferi sitting in the chair.

"Hey FF," I say as I pull up another chair. "What'th up?"

"Why would you lie to me?" she says. What is she talking about?

"Wh-what do you mean?" I'm starting to feel nervous. She touches my face and I feel a jolt run through my body.

"You have fins," she glares at me and pinches my face.

"What?" Why did they grow?

"You've lied to me, Sollux." Her glare is hard to look at, but I can't look away. "Who's it gonna be, huh? Make up your mind!"

"Sollux," someone else says. I look over at the window and see KK, he looks a bit sad. "I thought you liked me."

"What? Of courthe I like you, KK!"

"So you don't like me?" Feferi stands up and crosses her arms.

"I-I like you too, FF!"

"But not as a matesprit?" she says. I don't have an answer for that.

"Answer me!" she yells.

"He likes _me_, fish bitch." KK glares at her.

"I didn't ask _you_, lowblood." Feferi growls at him. What the hell is going on? KK and FF would never act like this! They continue yelling at each other, and I can't do anything to stop them.

"Sollux," someone says. My vision is blurring. "Sollux, wake up!" the person is shaking me.

"What, what!" my eyes snap open to KK, he looks concerned.

"You were having a bad dream." He says. Yeah, no shit.

"I'm fine," I tell him. I sit up and rub my head, the fins twitch; little bastards have minds of their own.

"You sure?" he asks, holding up my hand. I didn't realize I was still holding his hand, I look in his eyes and feel myself blush a little.

"Yeah," I get up. "What are we doing?"

"W-waitin' for you to w-wake up," Eridan says. I notice him and Kanaya over by the podium with the book.

"We have a few new solutions, would you like to try them?" Kanaya says.

"Uh, yeah, let's give it a thot." That dream freaked me out; do I really want to be doing this now? I'm still tired, that nap didn't help anything, and now that I think about it, what was KK dreaming about before I dozed off again? I wonder…

"Sollux?" Kanaya says, bringing me back to reality.

"Yeah?"

"We're going to try the spells first before the concoctions, okay?"

"Y-yeah, that'th fine, jutht get it over with." Maybe I should tell FF what happened. But what'll happen if I do that? She won't be mad, will she? Wait—what the hell am I thinking, why would she be mad? If I tell her about KK then she'll be mad, and what about KK? I should tell him…how would he react?

"AHH! You're supposed to hit HIM not ME, fish fuck!" KK screams, taking me out of my trance. Eridan must've done something.

"Eridan that was the wrong one!" Kanaya yells at him. I knew it.

"W-well I'm sorry! This is an old book, okay? Most 'a the spells look the same." he complains.

"Wait, what happened?" I ask. Eridan and KK stare at me like I'm crazy.

"He w-wasn't evven payin' attention!" Eridan yells. Then KK yells again, I look over at him and see he's hunched over and shaking.

"Are you okay?" I ask him. When he doesn't respond, I get worried. KK falls to his knees and a bright light envelops him, making him too bright to look at. When the light fades, he's gone. He's…gone?

"Wh-what the…ERIDAN! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!" I scream at him.

"I don't fuckin' know-w!" he jumps back a few steps when I go up to him.

"Wait!" Kanaya stops me.

"What?" I ask.

"Don't move," she walks on her toes over to the place where KK disappeared and picks up something from the ground. She holds up something, "He's right here, he's fine." I look in her hand and see KK, she's right, he's fine, but he's tiny.

"What the fuck?" I say.

"I did that?" Eridan comes up next to me.

"Yes, I imagine he might have a heart attack when he wakes up because of you." Kanaya tells him (A.N: I don't believe anything's been said about trolls having doctors, so the term 'heart attack' might be irrelevant, but whatever).

"Here," Kanaya hands KK to me. "Keep him safe while I try to fix this." Poor KK, he's gonna flip shit when he wakes up. But I've gotta admit, he looks kinda cute all tiny.

~oxoXoxo~

_What crazy bullshit this is. Ah…you guys love it so my opinion is invalid._

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	12. More screwups

_Hey, have you guys been watching America's Got Talent lately? That guy, Andrew De Leon, got booted off! I feel so sorry for him, it was like watching an anime boy the way he looked when he cried, and that is pitiful. Him getting booted off is bullshit, who doesn't choke up every once in a while? His voice is beautiful—now don't get me wrong, I love scream and electronic and heavy metal and crap like that, but I am an artist (just cause I can't draw on the computer doesn't mean I'm not an artist smart ones). I enjoy my own share of fine art and that boy's voice is fine freakin' art. I feel so sorry for him_ :c

_Well, I think I'm done ranting. I don't own Homestuck, READ ON!_

~oxoXoxo~

KK is starting to wake up. Once he does…_geez_. God must hate us. Him being tiny is cute to look at, but once he sees what's happened to himself, well…shit will be flipped, let's leave it at that. Eridan just _had_ to fuck up, like always. I gently put KK on the table.

"Ugh…what the fuck was that?" he says.

"You okay?" I ask him. He opens his eyes and stares at me, at first he looks scared, then he sighs.

"Fish fuck?" he asks. I nod. "God dammit."

"You're not mad?"

"Sollux I've reached a level of anger so impossible that I'm too calm to even scream bloody murder about it." (A.N: yes, it's possible)

"Uh, he'th awake." I say.

"I'm trying to figure this out, keep Karkat safe." Kanaya tells me.

"Yeah, w-we're figurin' it out, Sol." Eridan says, Kanaya glares at him.

"No Eridan, you're not doing anything." She says.

"W-what?"

"You've been more trouble than help, so for this you won't be doing anything. Now get out."

"W-what! You can't kick me outta my ow-wn hivve!"

"I'm not kicking you out of your own hive, Eridan; I'm removing you from your own secret cave."

"Still I…" Kanaya glares at him, making him shut up. "Fine. I'll leavve." And he does.

She turns to me and KK. "You don't mind going after him, do you? Someone has to keep an eye on him."

"Yeah, we don't mind." I say.

"Fine, whatever, I need to calm down." KK says. He sits in my hand and we follow Eridan back into his respiteblock.

"W-what the fuck are you tw-wo doin' up here, sure Kan w-wants you dow-wn there w-with her," What does he always have to be so whiny?

"Fish fuck; I don't want to hear your complaints. Kanaya asked us to leave, alright?" KK says. Eridan raises his eyebrows at him.

"Uh…" he looks at me and points at KK.

"Jutht keep provoking him." I'm not in the mood to hear KK scream, then again, who is?

"So…w-what should w-we do?"

"Good quethtion," I say. Hey, Eridan might be weird and creepy, but I wonder… "Do you have video gameth?"

"Yeah." Yes!

Eridan has some pretty good games, surprisingly. But he sucks at all of them. At least he isn't rage quitting like KK does, but he's just as annoying. Oh well.

"DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!" he screams. I just killed him for the ninth time.

"You thuck at thith, fish fuck." I laugh at him.

"Oh shut up, w-we're startin' again!" Then I notice something.

"Hey, where'th KK?" Eridan lowers the controller.

"I'm not sure. W-wasn't he right there?" he points on the table.

"I think. Did he leave?" I hope he didn't, but chances are he probably did. I decide to start looking for him.

"W-where are you goin'?" Eridan asks.

"I'm looking for KK." I hope he's alright. I get down on my hands and knees and start looking for him, Eridan follows. I hear something crash in the bathroom, I suspect that's KK. How the hell did he make all the way in there?

"KK? You alright?" I ask as I enter. I don't see him anywhere. I step inside and walk on my toes as I look for him.

"See him anyw-where?" Eridan asks.

"I'm looking, relax." Then I hear something from the sink. What is that, yelling? Then I realize… "KK's in the sink!"

"W-what! How-w the fuck did he get in there!" Eridan and I crowd around the sink.

"KK! Can you hear me?" I hear him yelling, but words are hard to make out.

"Sollux! Help!" I hear. Eridan goes under the sink.

"He's in the pipe,"

"Well, let'th get him out!" I dive at the pipe, but Eridan stops me.

"It ain't that simple, Sol. Just let me take care of it." That's the last thing I want to do, but he's already pushed me out of the way. He pulls a wand out of his cape and starts waving it. "Turn on the w-water," He says. What's he planning? "Turn it on, Sol."

"Fine," I turn the water on slow. He better be helping or so help _me…_ I hear something coming from the pipe.

"Kar? I'm gonna get you out, just hold your breath, and Sol's gonna catch you." Eridan says. I hear more screaming, I don't think KK likes that idea. The water from the tap starts going upwards, circling above mine and Eridan's heads.

"Alright, turn off the w-water."

"Do you have him?"

"I think so, let's see…" the last of the water comes out. I scan it for KK, but I don't see him.

"Where ith he?"

"He has to be here, keep lookin'." Eventually I do see him, he's passed out! I catch him from the stream and put him on the counter.

"KK! KK, wake up!" I yell, not bothering to think about how loud voices might be to him in his condition. I push his chest with my finger hoping it helps some, luckily it does.

He sits up and coughs, "Oh, God! Never…fucking…again!"

"You're awake!" I sigh in relief.

"W-what the fuck w-were you doin' in here, Kar?" Eridan asks him.

"I got bored so I left! I slipped and fell in that fucking thing, and I would've stayed there if you guys hadn't noticed I was gone," He gasps. Was that supposed to be an insult? He gets up, "Took you damn long enough."

"I don't think it's good to w-wait for Kan, I'll just try to fix you now-w, okay?" Eridan says.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Did KK just _agree_ to what fish fuck said? Well, I did too when I had weird shit happen to me, guess it's reasonable. Eridan waves his shitty wand again and points it at KK, but when the spell is cast it doesn't hit him, it hits the mirror and bounces off, hitting me instead! Ugh, I hate that feeling of the electricity shooting through you.

"Damn, I ovvershot it." Eridan says.

"Yeah, no shit!" More weird shit, I feel it.

"You hit _him_, not me, fuckass. Get better aiming." KK facepalms (A.N: SHAME TO YOU AMPORA*facepalm*).

"Oh, uh, sorry, Sol." He says.

"You know what? Fuck you. You can't get anything right. I hate thith. I hate thith day, I hate the fact I'm thtuck in a weird thituation to begin with, and I hate it." I just hate everything right now. I start shaking, and I can't stand up anymore. Aw, hell, it's already started! My vision blurs and I nod off, hell knows what'll happen _now_! AUGH!

~oxoXoxo~

_I'm leaving in less than a week. I'll be sure to barf on the plane for you guys_, _though chances are I'll have done it already…airsickness is not fun._

_Hold on, I sent one of you guys a P.M, who was it that said Sollux's lisp doesn't apply to 'sh' words? Damn, I forget, anyways I said to that person that when_ I_ lisp I lisp 'sh' words, indicating I'm basing Sol's lisp off my own. No, it's not a real lisp (well I guess it can be counted for one), see I have a retainer on both the top and bottom of my jaw, so sometimes I talk with a lisp. I meant no offense if my P.M came off as offensive, sorry. _:T

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	13. Gliders

_THE PERFECT ENDING HAS COME TO ME IN A DREAM! _=DDD

_But I ain't tellin' yet, we got some more shit to go through. _ewe

~oxoXoxo~

"HOLY SHIT!" Everything is _huge_! And I mean it when I say everything. Even looking over the edge of the counter to the floor, that's just plain scary how high up I am.

KK helps me up, "C'mon." Now that we're the same size, I _guess_ one problem is solved. But the fact that everything is gigantic, including Eridan, just presents more shit to deal with.

"Umm, I can try to turn you both normal," Eridan says.

"No." I tell him. "Put your shitty wand down before I break it, I'm done with your help, jutht thtop trying, _pleathe_."

"How would you break it?" KK asks. "It's like, ten times bigger than you, dude."

"I'll find a way." I'll be damned if i don't.

"So, how are we gonna go about telling Kanaya what just happened? She's gonna be pretty pissed once we tell her." KK says.

"Uh, w-we're not gonna, Kar." Eridan says.

"I wasn't asking you, fish fuck." he jumps off the edge onto the bathmat below…that's a pretty good idea for coming down without getting killed, actually. I decide to follow him.

"W-where are you goin'?" He seems a bit nervous.

"W-where do you think?" KK imitates his accent. "_We're_ gonna get Kanaya." He starts walking, I get up and follow. Hopefully she'll turn us back, who am I kidding, 'hopefully'? Of course she'll do it. Once that's done she'll help fix my original problem then we can be done!

"No." Eridan shuts the door.

"What the hell fish fuck?" I say.

"I'm not gettin' in trouble anymore." He glares down at us. He actually looks serious. He points the wand at us.

"Eridan, calm down." KK starts backing up.

"I'll fix this mess!" he fires at us. Fortunately he missed; we run. I go towards the door; I can fit under it, outside I run under the table and hope to god he won't come out and look for me. Then I realize…KK's not with me. What the fuck, I thought he was right behind me! Is he still in the bathroom?

"W-where are you?" Eridan slams the door open and gets on his hands and knees. I hide behind the table leg and hold my breath. He crawls over to the couch by the door and I take my chances, I run back into the bathroom.

"KK!" I whisper. I don't see him anywhere. I decide climb up the handles of the floor cabinet for a better look. Finally up top, I see the entire bathroom beneath me, still no KK.

"Sollux?" someone says, I look behind myself and see it's KK.

"You're okay." I sigh in relief.

"Barely; fish fuck's gone off the deep end."

"What'th hith problem?"

"I don't know, or care. We need to get to Kanaya without him getting us."

"I know that, the real quethtion ith how do we get down from up here?"

"Shit, that's a good question. Should we just climb back down?" I peer over the edge; a fall from this height could kill us at our size. We're up too high to get anything, seems like our only choice.

"I guess we have to." I say.

"Dude, look!" KK is standing by a thick notebook towards the wall. "Maybe we can use the paper like gliders and fly down."

"What ith it?" The cover reads in Eridan's scrawl, 'My Immortal' (A.N: yup. The fandom of Eridan writes a fanfiction. Seems legit). "Ith that thuppothed to be fish fuck'th diary?"

"Whatever it is I'm not reading anything titled 'My Immortal'. Let's just find blank pages to use." He flips open to the back of it and pulls out two pages. "Ready?" he asks me.

"He'th gonna thee uth."

"But if these things fly like I expect them too, he won't be able to _catch_ us. Let's go!" he runs off the edge and the paper straightens out and glides out the doorway. God, I'm nervous. I back up to the wall and run off the edge. The paper catches the air and I'm flying, I'm actually flying! Well, really I'm gliding, but that doesn't stop it from being cool. I direct the paper to the doorway and follow KK.

"W-what the fuck!" Eridan yells. I knew he'd see us. He gets up and tries to grab me, he misses, luckily. But when he tried to grab me it gave me a boost and sent me higher in the air and faster towards the hallway to his respiteblock, and closer to KK.

"Thith ith tho fucking cool!" I yell to KK, he smiles back at me, it's a genuine smile. I love it when he does that. I feel a gust of air blast from behind us; I look back and see Eridan pushing himself up from the floor.

"Yeah, try and catch us now fish fuck!" KK screams at him while laughing. We continue into his respiteblock. There we direct ourselves into the cave; we've lost altitude and are almost on the ground, a little ways back Eridan hit his head, giving us time to get away.

KK hits the bottom first. "KANAYA!" he screams. Surely she must've heard him, or at least Eridan screaming at us. I finally touch the ground, flying was fun, but I'm honestly glad to back on my feet.

"KANAYA!" I join KK's screaming. "WE NEED HELP!"

"What?" I hear her say. I feel vibrations on the ground, she must be coming!

"There you are!" Eridan yells. There's a flash and I'm thrown backwards into the wall, he must've tried to use a spell on us but missed. I try getting up, but I can't move. Everything hurts; my back, my arms, my legs, and especially my head.

I start drifting off, but before I do I hear, "Eridan, what the hell is going on here?" It's Kanaya! We're saved.

~oxoXoxo~

_I'M LEAVING IN THREE DAYS! And that's okay because I'm bringing the laptop with me! Of course, it is a vacation, and I'm going to theme parks (Universal Studios and Islands of Adventures for those who are wondering). Yes, I get internet at my aunt's house, but I'm gonna be doing stuff. I'll work on the next chapter when I can (meaning whenever there's a bad thunderstorm, and since I'll be in Flordia there's bound to be at least one), but until then, I've gotta pack! Love you guys, have a good Fourth of July, I'm out!_

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	14. The truth?

_Hey guys! It hasn't rained at all in the time I've been on vacation, well, yet, but since there's nothing to do today, I figured I would start the next chapter. I've been thinking of starting little short stories with my troll O.C's (more Pranah and fan-girl crap); for those of you who are wondering, I'm not asking for anything. I'd do it no matter you guys think they sucks or are good _XD

_In other news, besides swimming and trolling amusement parks, I've been reading comics. No, I sadly haven't been rereading Homestuck (though now is a good time to do so while Andrew isn't updating), I'm reading Sonic Universe. Yes, I'm a sonic fan! I'm only on the thirtieth issue, but I __love__ it. Once I read up to the most recent issue (so I have all my shit together), I'll start a sonic fanfic. You guys should read the sonic comics, they're awesome._

_Anyways, I don't own Homestuck, or its characters. Enjoy the chapter!_

~oxoXoxo~

Jegus Christ, my head is _pounding_! Why the hell does everything hurt so _badly_? I try opening my eyes, but I just can't do it. I'm too tired. Everything is aching like a fucking giant went ape-shit on me.

"Sollux?" someone says. I recognize the voice as KK's. I'm relieved to hear his voice, thank god he's okay. I think something bad happened and we were both in danger, yeah…that sounds about right.

"Sollux, if you can hear me say something! Please!" he says. Why does he sound so worried? I try opening my eyes again, but I still can't. I try opening my mouth to talk, but I can't even do that. I manage to make a sound at least. It hurts my ears, how pitiful I sound.

"Thank god," he sighs. I force my eyes open. Ugh, everything's blurry and spinning! What the hell? I close my eyes again.

"What the fuck happened?" my voice cracks as I force myself to speak, my throat hurts too.

"Fish fuck whacked you into a wall. I got knocked pretty hard too, but not as much as you did. Are you feeling okay?" My vision finally comes into focus…sort of. At least I can see KK. He has a bandage on his left cheek, but overall he looks fine.

"I feel like I wath buried a mile deep in beatht shit." I say. He laughs and I can't help but laugh with him, though it hurts. My laughing turns into coughing. I close my eyes again.

"What happened?" I ask again.

"You really don't remember?"

"No." I open my eyes again and see him giving me this worried look. This pity he keeps giving me is really getting on my nerves. My gaze wander up to the ceiling; we must be in the cave under fish fuck's hive.

"Are they here?" I'm referring to fish fuck and Kanaya.

"No, Kanaya took Eridan somewhere. If you listen closely you can hear him screaming." KK winces. I guess he means Kanaya's 'punishment' he mentioned earlier. And judging from him wincing, it's pretty bad.

"Will you tell me what happened?" I ask again.

"Let's just say Eridan fucked us over and leave it at that. At least Kanaya told him how to turn us back to normal before she dragged him off. I can't tell you how happy I am to be normal size again. Good thing you are too." What does mean 'me too'? I remember fish fuck turning KK tiny, but did he downsize me too? My head hurts too much when I try to think, I wouldn't be surprised if I have brain damage.

"You don't look happy." I say. He's silent for a while.

"I'm just glad you woke up. Took us forever to dig you out of the little avalanche fish fuck caused when he knocked you out into the wall, then Kanaya had to bandage you up, and you've been out ever since. I thought you were…" his mouth moves but I can't hear what he says.

"You thought I wath…?"

"Gone." He turns away. Was KK really _that_ concerned about me? I don't want him to be depressed over me, hell, anybody depressed over _me _is just plain sad. I look at KK; he still won't look at me. I lift my heavy arm and reach for his hand. His warm hand rubs against my cold one; he looks down at my hand.

"Feferi called you earlier." He says. Oh…right. Her.

"Do you know what she had to thay?"

"She's looking for you. I turned your phone off because she wouldn't stop calling."

I sigh, "I can't deal with her right now."

"She's your matesprit, dude. Keep her waiting too long she'll go to your hive."

"What are you talking about?"

"I've seen this hundreds of times; you can't just ignore your girlfriend. She'll go off on her own and do her own shit. And the first thing she'll do is find _you_. Feferi's gonna demand reasons why you aren't calling her back, and you can't give her bullshit. When girls are mad they go into this kill mode and can detect exactly what's the truth and what's a lie. She'll get the truth out of you, the _entire fucking_ truth. Whether you like it or not." I don't like the sound of that.

"Do I look like I'm in any condition to be calling anybody to you, KK?"

"I'm just telling you what's gonna happen. You need to call her back." And why do I feel as though I should call her back? Probably because it's the right thing to do. And why I feel a need to do the right thing all of a sudden, I'll never know. It's time I call her back.

"Alright, where'th my phone?" I try to sit up, but it all hurts too much, and I'm feeling a little lightheaded. KK hands me the phone. It turns on and the screen goes black. A box comes up that says 'INBOX FULL', I delete the messages, and as soon as they're gone I get three more messages. Yeah…I need to answer.

**- cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] -**

**CC:** SOLLUX! (A.N: nope, it's only seven !'s XD)

**CC:** W) (Y WON'T YOU ANSW-ER M-E? (A.N: still seven. Anti-Scorpio ewe)

**CC:** PICK UP TH-E P) (ON-E!

**- ****twinArmageddons [TA] responded –**

**TA:** ii'm riight here FF.

**CC:** FINALLY!

**CC:** W) (ere t) (e ) (ell ) (ave you been!

**CC:** I've been trying to call you for days now!

**CC:** W) (y didn't you answer me? 38(

Geez, was I really out for that long? I guess it makes sense from what KK told me, but still…

**TA:** iit'2…

**CC:** W) (at?

**TA:** iit'2 compliicated, FF.

**CC:** S) (orely it isn't t) (at complicated to explain. (A.N: fucking fish jokes -_-"'… god I hate seafood)

**TA:** iit'2 hard to explaiin.

**CC:** Tell me! You're my matesprit, Solly, we s) (ouldn't keep secrets from eac) ( ot) (er!

**TA:** feferii, iit'2 hard to explaiin, and even iif ii diid tell you, you wouldn't beliieve me.

**CC:** It's okay, Sollux, you know I'll believe you.

"If you tell her the truth first she won't believe It." he tells me.

"What happened to 'you have to tell her the truth?'"

"Girls are tricky, dude. You have to be careful."

"Whatever KK. I can't lie to her." I take a deep breath. No more lies, and no more avoidance.

**TA:** fiine.

**CC:** You ) (ave my undivided attention, Solly. 38)

**TA:** thiis iis the entiire truth, FF.

**TA:** do you remember when you kii22ed me the other day?

**TA:** later ii had water 2pla2h on me, and when iit diid, fiin2 grew out of my face.

**TA:** KK wa2 wiith me at the tiime, he got adviice from kanaya to go to eriidan and 2ee iif he could help me.

**TA:** he agreed to help, but he i2n't helpful at all.

**TA:** proof of that iis when hiim and KK were at that giirl2 2wamp. ii wa2 the fii2h eriidan 'found'. the giirl took KK and we followed her to get hiim, then we heard you comiing and eriidan paniicked and turned me iinto a fiish.

**TA:** after we got back two eriidan2 hiive, he triied two turn me back to normal, whiich diidn't work, and kanaya came over two help.

**TA:** then 2hiit 2tarted happeniing two KK two.

**TA: **one of that 2hiit wa2 eriidan 2hrank u2.

**TA:** KK and ii told hiim we diidn't want hii2 help anymore, he 2napped and 2tarted cha2iing u2, but we got away…for a liittle whiile.

**TA:** he caught up two u2 and knocked me iinto a wall, cau2iing an avalanche of 2hiit two fall on me, giiviing me bad wound2 and 2ore2 and knockiing me out for god know2 how long. whiile ii wa2 out, ii gue22 iit wa2 kanaya, but 2omone turned back to our normal 2ize2.

**CC:** 38I

**TA:** god FF, you have no iidea how good iit feel2 to tell you the truth.

**CC:** W) (at.

**TA:** FF, are you okay?  
**CC: **Sollux,

**CC:** That is the biggest LI-E I've ever ) (eard!

**TA:** what? FF iim telliing you the truth!

**CC:** T) (AT IS COMPL-ET-E BULLS) (IT!

**CC:** I CAN'T believe that CRAP!

**CC:** T) (as to be the most drawn out, convoluted LI-E I've ) (eard in my life!

**CC:** W) (y Sollux?

**CC:** W) (y are you lying to me?

**TA:** FF iim not! ii 2wear iim not!

**CC:** Yea) ( rig) (t.

**CC:** I can't believe you!

**TA:** FF, iim telliing the TRUTH!

**CC:** I'm done, Sollux. Fuck you. 3X(

**- cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] -**

What the fuck! Why didn't she believe me? I told her the complete truth! That…that…

"That bitch!" I yell, worsening my headache. I throw the phone at wall; I don't give a shit anymore, I hope it fucking breaks! KK sighs.

"Thop giving me your bullshit pity KK, I don't fucking need it." I hiss at him.

"Whatever, dude. You're too good for her anyway." He gets up and leaves. Great, now I'm alone! At least he didn't say 'I told you so' and rub it in my face. But wait…does that mean FF and I are broken up now? Fuck it, I don't give a shit. My head hurts, I'm going to sleep.

~oxoXoxo~

_This chapter was vaguely based off 'Pick up the Phone' by Falling in Reverse. Don't worry—it's not over just yet. Almost, but not yet. I just like to keep you people hanging on threads._

_Anyways, I should clear some things up. Truthfully, I don't like Feferi. She comes off as a naggy bitch to me, really. I mean, she's bold, a princess, but has a 'dark' side; dark side meaning she can tell people off and expect them to not do anything. To me, Feferi is like that one super popular girl at school that loves everything and kisses up to everyone but takes time out of her 'busy schedule' to fuck with you and shoot you down for whatever possible stupid reason that could be. I could be reading her personality wrong, but I don't think it matters. It won't change my opinion, I just don't like Feferi._

_And with that being said, all my viewers magically die of heart attacks._

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	15. Not done yet

_Hey guys! The newest thing with me is I've started watching Shugo Chara. Now that, that right there, is a good anime. If you haven't watched it, ex out of this and go watch it right now. I'm only on like, episode seventeen (NOOB!), but the series has opened a Pandora's Box of ideas in my mind. Meaning, I will soon be writing a Shugo Chara fanfiction. That always happens whenever I start watching something I've never watched before, or reading something I've never read before and like it. Over-active imaginations are the best, aren't they? _X)

_I don't own Homestuck or the characters. _

~oxoXoxo~

Something hits my face and lays on me. What is that, a towel? I crack my eyes open but it's too dark to see. It starts rubbing my face roughly and I try to get it off, but my arms are too heavy. I try to say something but throat _hurts_. Then I try getting up, I barely lift my head from the pillow that was placed underneath me and my body feels like a rock. Everything is so _heavy_, and my head—oh, my head…you have not felt pain until you've been slammed into a wall and buried in an avalanche. At least I remember _how_ I got hurt, and as soon as I see fish fuck I'm gonna throw _him _into a wall. Now what the fuck is on my face?

"Weh…" is what comes out of my mouth as I try to speak. I wonder if there's a potion or spell or whatever for healing injuries, cause if there is I fucking want it.

"He's up!" I hear KK.

"You can stop wiping him, Eridan, I'm sure he's dry now." That's Kanaya. Wait…fish fuck is wiping my face? I try lifting my arm so I can grab him; damn arm's too fucking heavy!

"Get off me!" my voice cracks. The towel is yanked off me; I close my eyes again because of the bright light. Once I can open them again, I see KK, Kanaya, and fish fuck hovering over me with worried expressions on their faces. I still can't move, no matter how much I want to tackle fish fuck, what's really odd is him looking sorry for me. Maybe it's just him being the sadistic fuck he is, but I can't help being curious.

"What?" my throat hurts.

"Are we too late?" KK looks up at Kanaya, he actually looks scared.

"Maybe…" she says, she looks sad.

"What happened?" now I'm getting scared.

"The fins w-won't go away," Eridan says. He won't look at me. "W-we tried evverythin' but nothin' w-will w-work; sorry Sol." _What_? Is he telling the truth? He-he can't! He's lying!

"You're lying." I say.

"No he's not…" KK says. "You've been dry for an hour now, they're stuck." …what? _Nothing_ worked? I lift my heavy hand to my face, and they're there. I can't believe it. I'm stuck like this.

Kanaya gave me a potion that made me feel better, but it didn't stop my depression. For that I'd probably need a fuck-ton of Gamzee's shit pies, maybe more. I don't want to stay like this! And now that FF and I are separated there's no reason to even _try_ to live life this way. I'm sitting on the sandbar outback of Eridan's hive, just staring down at the dark water. I kind of want to go in, but I resist the urge.

"Hey," KK sits down next to me, but he doesn't put his feet in the water. "That swamp bitch might come back thinking you're food." He says. Truthfully, I don't care if she comes after me, death might be a good thing at this point.

"You alright dude?" he asks me.

"Fine." I lie.

"It's not the end of the world, you know. Just fins."

"You don't get it," I sigh. "FF ith _gone,_ KK. Even if we _didn't_ fight and the fins didn't go away, at least I'd have her. Now I'm jutht thome freaky mutant with nothing left."

"I'm still fucking here, Sollux. I wouldn't give a shit what anybody'd say about me, mutant or not."

"Your point?"

"My point is _I'm_ here. Last time I checked I'm your best-fucking-friend and I wouldn't leave you for shit. You're not alone, just because Feferi said 'fuck you' doesn't mean you're alone."

I sigh, "You jutht don't underthtand. It's done. FF is gone, I'm a fucking half-fish, everything is shit an—" KK pulls my shirt collar, cutting me off. He kisses me. Wait…why is he _kissing_ me? I don't want him to stop, but then again I want to be left alone…fuck everything. My eyes start watering up as I kiss back. I don't want to do this because of FF, but then I want to do the wrong thing. I just want someone to hold me in their arms, to tell me it's okay, to never leave my side. He starts pulling away. Why? He looks into my eyes for a second then turns away.

"Sorry." He says.

"Why are you thorry?"

"Cause Feferi called me earlier." He says. "I told her the truth, like you did. She didn't say anything, just asked me what happened."

"Who careth about her anymore?" I take my feet out of the water and pull my knees to my chest.

"She still likes you, Sollux." What?

"That'th not true." I feel my eyes watering again.

"Yes it is. She may not have said anything, but she did say she still likes you." That can't be true, can it? I look at KK, he seems sincere.

"No bullshit?" I ask him.

"None whatsoever." Really? If that's true then…then I still have a chance! I have to make things right between us; I need to see her again!

"C'mon, dude," KK gets and gives me his hand. "Let's go get your girl." KK was right earlier, he is my best-fucking-friend, and he'd never leave me.

I take his hand, "Thank you."

~oxoXoxo~

_My eyes teared up a little writing this. This chapter and the songs 'With you, friends' and 'Summit' by Skrillex are just perfect together. _

_Yes, my friends, this story is almost finished. Just a little more until it's completely finished. I'm so glad you guys like it! This practically has three thousand views, from twenty-some different countries. I love you all, thank you. _:')

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	16. Deepsea idiot

_Hey guys! I just got back…lol, no I didn't. I got back on the 23__rd__; I just took a little break, meaning I was playing the Sims 3. I love the Sims—anyways, I thought I'd tell you guys that I'm working on new FanFictions. Of course, Homestuck fictions are among those many I'm writing, if they get published or not is a whole different story. One I'm definitely doing is one that revolves around Gamzee and an 'incident' with Kanaya; I don't want to give out to much info about it (LIE!) so I'll tell you this: it's a bit of a songfic. Look up the song 'I'm not a Vampire' by Falling in Reverse; you can most likely piece it together then._

_Another fiction I'm definitely doing is a Soul Eater one. Soul Eater is my favorite anime (besides One Piece), and if you go to my profile, you'll see I already have a Soul Eater fiction. Unfortunately I lost all the documents for that fiction, so it is discontinued. Good thing too, it was the first fiction I ever did and was terrible. If you want you can go ahead and read the original, I think I'm gonna delete it in a while. I definitely plan on writing a Sonic the Hedgehog fiction, and possibly a Pokémon fiction as well. As said in the last chapter, I will be writing a Shugo Chara fiction; it will most likely just be like the actual series, but with my own O.C's and quite possibly, magic shit. Yes, I'm missing a few gears, we already know this._

_As usual, I don't own Homestuck or the characters. ENJOY!_

~oxoXoxo~

I can't believe I just figured this out now, I just fully mutated or whatever into a seadweller and KK just fucking kissed me. Yeah. We're very fucking smart aren't we? I just told KK that and all he did was jump in the water. Is he out of his damn mind? He hasn't come up yet, I guess he should be fine, but should I go in after him? I wasn't like this to begin with, so he might be fine. But if he is, then…oh shit! I dive in after him; I hope he can hold his breath.

The water at first sends a shiver down my spine; I don't feel electrical currents like the last time. My eyes adjust in the water, and I see a trial of bubbles leading down to the ocean floor. I follow.

At the bottom there are rocks with this other weird colorful things on them. I remember FF telling me about these colorful underwater plants called coral, it must be that. I don't see KK anywhere. Now I'm getting scared.

"KK!" I call out for him; millions of tiny bubbles leave my mouth as I open it. I walk deeper down and come to tall green weeds. Seaweed, I guess. There's still no sign of him, where is he? I go deeper.

Deeper down are more rocks and the weird aquatic plants. If I weren't scared shitless for KK, I'd be admiring the scenery, I think. Coming up in the distance I see…what is that, a castle? It's huge, and kind of resembles a tall swirled seashell with a pointed top. I remember FF telling me what her hive looks like…and to be honest, I think that castle is it. Geez, I didn't think it was _that_ big. I found her hive, but I still haven't found KK. Where the fuck is he? He couldn't have gone far; I _know_ he never swam a day in his life, like me. I don't get it!

"KK!" I yell for him again, and still nothing! Where is he? Please God, let him be okay, I need to find him! I then feel bubbles blast in my face, caught me off guard there. My eyes open to an aquatic hoofbeast with a pink bow in its mane. Where did _this_ come from? Wait a sec…

"Hey, can you help me out?" I ask it. I'm either desperate or insane to be asking an abomination to god for help, hell of course I am. And I'm also an abomination, so I guess it really doesn't matter at this point. It snorts, blowing bubbles in my face again, and I swear I heard it say 'follow me'. It leaves, and I follow it. We come to the base of FF's hive. It swims up to the top and looks back down at me, flicking its tailfin. I follow it up and go in FF's respiteblock.

It virtually looks the way she described it to me, cuttlefish cages hanging from the ceiling with tons of different colored cuttlefish, some other aquatic hoofbeasts swimming around, her desk with her hubtop sitting on it. Lying a pink fluffy thing on the floor is KK. KK is in FF's hive, with fins on his face, fins like I have. Oh, thank god he's okay!

"KK!" I yell for him as I come in through the window. He must've been asleep, he lifts his head and stares at me for a second, and then he gets up and swims over to me for a hug.

"Sollux!" he says. We stare at each other for a bit.

I hug him again, "KK, I'm tho thorry I got you thucked into thith."

"I don't give a fuck, Sollux." I look at him as he smiles at me. My eyes start tearing up again.

"Feferi saved me from her lusus." He tells me, I laugh a bit at that.

"What'd she thay about thethe?" I poke his fins and they twitch.

"She didn't." my smile fades and I look down.

"Thith wath a bad idea, KK. She doethn't care."

"Yes she does, Sollux. We're not gonna quit now."

"Sollux?" someone asks. I cringe up at the sound of her voice. I turn around and I see her.

"Hey FF…" I say. I'm practically shaking. She comes up to me and touches my fins, which twitch away.

"You weren't lying," she stares at them in awe, and then she hugs me. "I'm so sorry; I didn't know this would happen, Sollux."

"You-you're not mad?" I ask her.

"Of course not! But, I have a question," she says. She points to KK, "Who's the one that gave him fins?" Oh. I didn't think about that. I feel my face starting to get hot. She stares at me, nearly glaring, yup I'm blushing.

"It went like this," KK says, he yanks me by my shirt collar and kisses me again. Dammit, what the fuck! I don't mind kissing him, but right now? In front of FF? He's trying to kill me! He pushes me away and I just stand there; should I say something?

"Uh-umm…" is what comes out of my mouth. God, I'm so fucking stupid. I hear KK start coughing. FF isn't trying to choke him, she's standing in front of us, but she looks concerned. I look over at him and see he's floating up to the ceiling covering his mouth, no fins. What the fuck, how'd his fins go away? Dammit, what am I doing, he can't fucking breath! I grab him and swim out the window.

"Wait!" FF says; dammit, what now? "Follow me; I know the way to Eridan's hive! Just keep up!" she swims ahead, I follow her. Dammit KK!

~oxoXoxo~

_I'm trying to draw the ending out, as you can most likely tell. This story's almost done, and once it is I'll be publishing that other Homestuck FF I was talking about. I have a good feeling about that one since this went so well. Love you guys!_

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	17. It is finished

_Here it is, what we've all been jumping out of our skin for, the end. I love you guys, and I loved making this story, and I'm positive that if it weren't for you guys' support and reviews this story would've been deleted. Thank you all so much!_

_I don't own Homestuck, enjoy the finale! _

~oxoXoxo~

What the fuck happened back there? KK's fins went away, so that's good, but we were at the bottom of the ocean! We need to get him on dry land, not just above the water! FF is leading the way to Eridan's hive, but she's a lot faster than I expected. It's really tiring trying to keep up with her, plus I'm dragging KK, I hope I'm not going too fast for him.

"Sollux!" FF calls from ahead.

"I'm right here, don't thtop!" I keep swimming and she continues, leaving a trail of bubbles behind for me to follow. "Hold on, KK, it's gonna be alright." I tell him. His grip on my arm tightens, telling me he heard what I said. How he did, I have no clue. Maybe bubbles can carry sound or some shit, but that's not important.

She takes a sharp turn upwards, and without even thinking twice I follow. My head hurts after that, but I'm fine. KK's grip loosens. I look down at him and see he's looking kind of pale. I hold him tighter and push myself to go faster.

"Come on!" I hear FF again. We're here, yes! My head shoots up from the water and I lift KK onto the sandbar. Kanaya and Eridan are outside and FF is standing by them. They help pull KK on land. I push myself up on land and crawl over to KK.

"KK!" His eyes are closed and he doesn't say anything. He doesn't even move. I put my ear to his chest but I can't hear anything. Oh god. "KK!" I yell again and push on his chest. Nothing. "Goddammit, wake up!" Tears start welling up in my eyes. "You can't fuckin' quit, KK! Don't you remember what you thaid?! It'th not over yet! You can't fuckin' quit! Pleathe! Wake up!" I'm practically punching him now. The tears won't stop and I just let them fall. I can't believe it, somehow, his fins went away, and he…choked. Why did this have to happen? Was it my fault? It doesn't matter…he's gone. I lay my head on his chest and let the tears fall, I hear the others gasp at the reality; I don't care what they think. I…I fucking _loved_ him, and he did everything he could for me, he must've loved me back.

"Uh-ugh…" I hear someone cough. It sounds like KK but I figure I'm just hearing things. I can't lift my head, and the crying just adds a bad headache.

"Sollux, look." I hear Kanaya. I lift my heavy head and stare at her and the others through my blurred vision.

"What?" I hold back my tears.

"Karkrab's okay! Look!" FF's ecstatic. What did she mean he's okay? I hear the coughing again, louder this time. I look back down at KK and he's lying on his side coughing up water. WAIT…

"KK?" I ask him. He stops and lies back down on his back.

"Am I dead yet?" he asks. OH MY GOD!

"You're okay!" I hug tight and choke back tears, which isn't working. He sits up and rubs my head. He's okay! Thank god he's okay!

After I calmed down the five of us went back into Eridan's hive. Not his special little cave, Eridan wants to keep that a secret from FF apparently. We're by the entrance of his hive; KK and I are sitting on the shell-couch by the table. We gave KK a towel to help dry him off, but he's still shaking. Poor guy's cold; I'm just glad he's alive.

"Karkat, why did you even go in the ocean anyways? You know you can't swim." Kanaya's been pressing the two of us for questions ever since we came inside.

"W-well…" Eridan cuts me off before I can talk. "I saw-w the tw-wo of them outback 'a my hivve talkin'. Then they kissed."

"Whoa, wait—fish fuck, you were _watching_ us?" KK asks. Eridan blushes.

"Maybe."

"Well, Sollux's fins didn't go away," FF jumps in. "So why did Karkrab's?"

"That'th what _I'd _like to know." I'm still shaking from earlier.

"In Feferi's hive, when we were down there, Sollux and I kissed again. I think that had something to do with It." says KK. That actually makes sense.

"I see…" Kanaya stops pacing. "So, the antidote is truly the one that caused it in the first place! Sollux, all you have to do is kiss Feferi again and you'll be normal again. I can't believe I didn't think of that earlier!" she says. Is that _really_ it? I'm a little scared considering all our other attempts at antidotes have failed miserably in the past.

"Sollux?" FF is standing in front of me. "What are you waiting for? You to be normal again, don't you?"

"You're really not mad?" I ask.

"No! Why do you keep asking me that? Should I be mad?" That's a good question, actually. I glance at KK, he's still shaking. He catches my glance and smiles back.

"Oh." FF says. "I see what you mean. Sollux," I get ready for the worst. "I'm not mad. It's your decision; I guess we're just better as moirails." Really? She can't be telling the truth…right? She smiles at me, I know she's sincere. I stand up and wrap my arms around her.

"Thank you, FF." I lean in close, she does the same. We kiss. I feel warm electrical currents run through my body, my face is getting hot too. But it's a good warmth. I don't know how long we stay like this, she finally pulls away and the warmth slowly fades. I feel my face, nothing. I feel like laughing, and I almost do, like an idiot. After EVERYTHING I've been through, this entire catastrophe has been solved with what started the whole thing, a kiss with a seadweller. It's done!

"You okay, Sollux?" KK and I went back to my hive. We thanked Kanaya and Eridan and FF and I took KK, whom Kanaya figured was sick. I figured a small cold was something easy, that I could handle it. No one stopped me, so now KK is under my care.

"_I'm_ fine. _You're_ the one who'th thick." I tell him.

"You don't have to do this; you should be relaxing after everything that's happened." I direct him to my recoopercoon and he climbs in.

"Then let'th relax together." I get in with him.

"You're not gonna take no for an answer, are you?" he smiles at me.

"No." I kiss him once again before falling asleep. Despite all that's happened, I'm truly happy that it all did happen. But, if everything's done, then why do I feel like I'm forgetting something? Ah, I'm tired. I'll figure it out later.

A loud roar shakes the entire hive, waking me and KK.

"What the fuck was that?" KK asks me. Then it hits me.

"Aw, shit!" I climb out of the recoopercoon.

"What?"

"I need to feed my luthuth."

~oxoXoxo~

_Behold, the first fanfiction I've ever completed, has the shittiest ending ever. My god, I just ruined my own fucking story, what the hell is wrong with me._

_Well, shitty ending aside, if you all haven't already figured it out, 'the problem with having a seadweller girlfriend' is the kiss that will turn you into a seadweller yourself. And with that being said, my ending is shit, my next story will be posted in a few days so check it out, and…I think my work here is done! My friends, I bid you adieu. It has been a pleasure *bows*_

~Kris Maria -^w^-


	18. Updategift thingy

Uh, hey guys! It's been…jeez, how long has it been? I don't even know! Well, this is basically an update (no crap! *shoots self*)…I'm not sure what to do here. Uh well, today (November 22) is my 15th birthday, so happy birthday to me (and to my viewers who have their birthdays today!). It is also Thanksgiving, so Happy Thanksgiving to you all (I just realized it's already tomorrow when I upload this *facepalm*). Umm…well let's jump to the important part!

Even now this story is somehow getting good feedback. I have no idea how this is possible, but it's happening, so thank you guys so much for that. And in return for this positive feedback, I want to give you all a gift, that gift being a story. And here's the problem—I have EXTREME writers block. I do have some fiction stories in mind; I simply have no idea how to start them, and which one to start. They're all Homestuck fictions, naturally (NO LIFE *dies*). Allow me to give you all the details on them,

**IDEA #1:** This is most basically like the real HS, but with my O.C's and my way of writing and some darker themes. If this is chosen, later in this story the real characters will make their way in this story. The story will be told from the alternating POV's from not only my O.C's but the R.C's as well (when they are included). And if you're wondering, yes, I have troll O.C's. One of them was in this story even!

**IDEA #2:** This I started a while back then just forgot about. It's a series of one-shots with my troll O.C's and the troll R.C's. There are NO humans in this story, and the chapters will vary in length depending on the troll(s) in the particular one-shot. The rating may change on each different upload, however. Some of my O.C's are brutal, violent, perverted, and just wrong, especially mixed in with the R.C' (they ARE trolls, people *gets shot*). This is called "When in Alternia" (I actually had a name for this one already.)

**IDEA #3:** This is a Gamzee/Tavros yaoi fiction. I'm leaning more towards having them be humans for this. If any of you people have read yaoi, then you ought to have an idea on how this story would go. If there are those of you who have NOT read yaoi (or watched yaoi OVA's), I suggest you go check it out. My two favorites are Koisuru Boukun and Hey Class President, so go look them up. Anyways, this fiction will be rated M (for my experimentation with writing smut).

And…that's what I've got! I eventually will publish all three and then go from there, but until then, you guys tell me what I should work on first. My gift to you! Thanks guys :]

~Kris Maria -^w^-


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